Casket Clean (Why Larry Brown is out of his freakin' mind tryin' to get Allen Iverson a front office job)

"Yeah dawg, I'm ready for the front office!"

Calvin Coolidge once said, “Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers. It may not be difficult to store up in the mind a vast quantity of facts within a comparatively short time, but the ability to form judgments requires the severe discipline of hard work and the tempering heat of experience and maturity.” Joshua Liebman, the best-selling author, gave it to us like a G in trainin’ when he spit, “Maturity is achieved when a person postpones immediate pleasures for long-term values.” Then Tom Stoppard shut the buildin’ down when he said, “Maturity is a high price to pay for growing up.”

Well playas…first of all, you gotta grow up! It’s got to be more important for you be grown and be willin’ to pay the high price than to walk around lookin’ like a kid dressed up like a grown up. Catch that one later pimpin’! Former Philadelphia 76ers coach Larry Brown is tryin’ to get Allen Iverson a job in the front office of his former team.

This dun was on the radio a few days ago sayin’, “I just wish there was some way that he could be involved. Just teach him about the organization and let him figure it out, figure out how he can help. He can certainly judge talent. He certainly has people’s respect. Kids will listen to anything he said. He’s certainly bright as hell.”

Aight, let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! Allen Iverson is 40 years old still walkin’ around dressed up like he’s 17 bruh! Let’s start right there pimpin’! Any time a grown tail man (edited version) can’t figure out that he looks like a complete fool, that’s a problem. Secondly, he’s got tattoos all over his freakin’ body in places that aren’t hidden. This dun’s got joints all over his neck and hands! This ain’t the music business bruh! You can pull that off in industries like that but this ain’t that.

I don’t know what Larry Brown thinks the front office is but it’s that part of the buildin' they call the EXECUTIVE wing. That means you’ve got to, at the very least, look like an executive. They aren’t about to hire a dun lookin’ like he’s about to be in Lil’ Wayne’s video cast as the cat drivin’ the getaway car. A.I. looks like Uncle Jun Bug!

Can you imagine if they hired that dun and he actually tried to put a suit on by himself? How many times have you been to a graduation, funeral or seen where the coach of a high school team told boyz to put on a suit and they showed lookin’ like some fools. Most cats that wear oversized gear think that you’re supposed to buy the suit the same way. Can you see A.I. showin’ up with a 6X (22 neck) dress shirt with the collar so big that you can put your entire arm down the neck of the joint and pull his nipple. Then he’s saggin’ the joint and thinkin’ that he’s casket clean. You can’t hire a boy that doesn’t have any self-awareness. He’s 40 for cryin’ out loud! If he doesn’t know how he’s supposed to even look how are you goin’ to trust him to be an executive and make executive decisions?

Here’s my diehard A.I. fan upset with a boy for keepin’ it 100. “Jay you sound crazy! Why you hatin’ on my guy like that? He’s a legend and probably knows more about this game than 90 percent of the people in those front offices. You sound like a sell-out talkin’ about A.I..”

Naw playa, you sound crazy thinkin’ that ole boy deserves a front office job because his name is A.I.! I’ve been in Corporate America for more than 25 years playa and have held executive roles for at least 20 of those. I wouldn’t hire that dun nor would I want him on my team if he walked in with the knowledge of a genius lookin' the way he does. He doesn’t understand who or where he is. That’s a problem. And part of maturity is self-awareness. If you’re 40 and you still haven’t figured out that you need to dress like you’re 40 then you can’t be trusted to make corporate decisions in a billion dollar industry.

Larry Brown sounds crazy even makin’ that phone call bruh. What Larry should have done was call A.I. and told him to learn how to put some grown man clothes on and go get those freakin’ tattoos removed from his neck and hands if he wants an executive job. I’ve got no problem with a boy havin’ tattoos! I’ve got tattoos and fraternity brands! But when I put my clothes on you can’t see them! That’s the difference.

It doesn’t matter that he’s qualified to work in the front office. He’s not mature enough to handle the responsibility of bein’ in the front office because he can’t even figure out where he is in life. If you can’t figure out your own self, how are you goin’ to be trusted to make good decisions for somebody else?”

Women thought it was cute back in ’96, ’97 when he was lookin’ like Tupac hoopin’ out there.They were like, "Girrrl he fine lookin' like a thug out there!" Now they're like, "You better go head on lookin' like a thug kid." You remember when all these fools were hollerin’, “A.I.’s my dawg! He keepin’ real! Look at him.”

He’s the freakin’ reason why the NBA instituted a dress code policy bruh! He’s the freakin’ reason why they told boyz that they had to put on collared shirts if you're gonna be on the sideline. But the sad piece about it, he’s still walkin’ around lookin’ like that 18 years later and now boyz are callin’ around beggin’ folks to hire him! Something is wrong with that picture.

Iverson needs to grow up first, then he can get a job. This ain’t the welfare office playboy. Nobody owes him a darn thing but he owes himself something though. He’s owes it to himself to grow up and be a grown man then he can get a job! He knows too much about the game and is too popular not to get this easy money out here talkin' about the game of basketball. If Barkley is workin'  and gettin' PAID then anybody can work bruh! But you gotta present yourself in a better light. And if ole Larry is so worried about him havin' a job why didn't he hire him at SMU? Because he doesn't have a degree and looks like he's gonna rob the joint at any moment. Now granted, you don't have to have a degree to work in the NBA but you do need to look like you've got some sense. Grow up snd hsndle your business bruh. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus:

1) G: noun – gangsta, the older cat in the barber shop that gives the young boyz wisdom.
2) Spit: verb: to say
3) Aight: adjective: slang for the word ‘Alright’
Holla At Ya Boy!
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