Bones (Why Pat Riley is bein' petty with LeBron and media-types are carryin')

"Ain't this a blip!!!"

As I was gettin’ the whip washed down at Mr. Willy’s Car Wash, I overhead these three cats arguin’ about boyz bein’ petty. Zhuangzi, the ancient Chinese philosopher, jumped out of the ride and said, “Great wisdom is generous; petty wisdom is contentious. Great speech is impassioned, small speech cantankerous.” Sydney J. Harris, the well-known journalist, was waitin’ to get his rims cleaned when he said, “A winner rebukes and forgives; a loser is too timid to rebuke and too petty to forgive.” Then Marilyn Monroe pulled up with the old school LL "Cars Drive By” joint bangin’ and said, “I’ve found that men as less likely to let petty things annoy them.”

Well playas…ole Marilyn must have never met Pat Riley! On Monday ole boy got real petty when he told reporters that there were “no more smiling faces with hidden agendas” in the Heat organization that could affect his approach to the draft and free agency this offseason. A straight shot across the bow at LeBron. Petty bruh? Straight petty!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! Riley has been in the NBA either as a player or as a coach for over 45 years! If anybody should understand that it’s a freakin’ business he should. So when a boy smiles in your face and tells you one thing and does another it’s normal protocol. I’m quite sure he’s done it on several occasions durin’ the course of his career. Like every time he sits down to negotiate with a boy.

So why is he bein’ petty now? Because that dun is at the crib this post-season with a terrible team that he has no idea what he’s gonna do with next year. D. Wade is shot and Chris Bosh’s health is tricky. When he looks at the rest of the roster he’s got nothin’.

Therefore, every time he smells LeBron’s cologne, sees that dun on TV and hears his name he farts and gets the bubble guts. For the first time in his life he got screwed by a young cat that was far more savvy than he was and that burns his butt.

The great Pat Riley is takin’ shots at a boy because he left and it worked out for him and his team sucks right now. What’s drivin’ him crazy is that LeBron didn’t even hear the comments because he’s turned off all of social media and his phone. So a dull media-type had to tell him about it. Nothin’ drives a boy more crazy than when he intends to say something about a dun that will get under their skin and he doesn’t hear about until several days later when a mark brings the bone.

First of all, the dun that asked LeBron if he heard it was a straight sucka because you already know that ole boy hadn’t heard it because he’s turned everything off. So it was a set up question to get things started. He wasn’t askin’ to get an answer; he was askin’ to tell a boy what was said to get a rise out of LeBron. Where I’m from that’s called bein’ a “Mark” that carries bones and REAL cats avoid those types.

Cats like that can’t be trusted because all they do is carry bones back and forth to keep stuff started. And that’s the edited version. Advice for LeBron durin’ his black out period for the playoffs, “Stay away from Marks if you want to keep your head clear of foolishness. Talkin’ to duns like that defeats the purpose of turnin’ social media off. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus:
1) Whip: noun – a luxury vehicle
2) LL: noun – short for LL Cool J
3) Cars Drive By: one of LL’s biggest hits released in 1990 entitled “The Boomin’ System”
4) Ole boy: noun – the person in question and in this case Pat Riley in particular.
5) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc.
6) Mark: noun – a sucka, someone that is bein’ petty for no reason.
7) Bone: noun – to carry information to keep foolishness up.
Holla At Ya Boy!
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The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!