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| "It's on and poppin' playboy!" |
Here are the Top 10 Playa Bracket Rules:
1. You can only fill out one bracket dadgummit! And that's the edited version! I hate when people show up to work with 10 joints filled out and try to win the office pool. "If it's shady and you know it clap ya hands." Clap! Clap! When the tournament is over this dun gallivants around like they really knew somethin' about college basketball. Sorry excuse for a sports fan!!! Let's keep it 100!!
2. Don't fill out your kid's bracket! If he or she can't talk or walk or change his or her own freakin' diaper then they can't participate. If they're still gruntin' and stinkin' then they can't have a freakin' bracket! That's final. I get tired of losin' to some kid that's 8 months old named Shaniqua or Lil' Money or the dun that's 4 with snot hangin' out of their nose wearin' a pinky ring and some Jordan's. I'm serious!
3. Don't pick the stupid teams based on the uniforms! If you haven't watched the games to this point just say that you don't know and bow out gracefully. It's always some broad at work that picks the darn Final Four acurately because she liked the way the uniforms look! Are you kiddin' me?
4. Don't try to change your bracket once all of your Final Four teams lose! I get tired of duns that pick boyz to make it to the Final Four and then by next Friday they've got somebody else on their bracket because all of their joints are sittin' at the crib. The bracket police is gonna be blastin' boyz for violatin' these rules. They'll be hangin' boyz outta windows like Big Red or better yet Suge Knight if you're caught frontin'!
5. Don't show up to the sports bar on Thursday talkin' trash or wearin' your team logo if your school isn't in the tournament. You're on punishment for cryin' out loud!! If your school sucks then you have to stay at the crib! If you show up to the spot talkin' about next year you're gonna get drug out of the joint and beat down in the parkin' lot. The tournament is about this year bruh not what your stinkin' school "might" do next year. Also no brew and wings for you or your boyz if you dare show up with team logo's on and your school isn't dancin', you gotta sit in the corner in the Ginger Ale and hot dogs section all night.
6. Don't install that stupid software with the fake graphs on it to try to fool your boss when he walks past your computer. He knows that you're watchin' the games because he's watching the freakin' games in his office. Just keep it real son, order pizza and go to the conference room and watch it together. Ain't no sense in lyin' to each other.
7. Don't get on Facebook or Twitter lyin' about bein' at the games either. Who cares? You always got some dun tellin' boyz that he's at the freakin' game and he hasn't left his driveway. Social media will have a boy lyin' in a minute! It's better to watch it at the crib or at the sports bar anyway you idiot! There's always a clown tryin' to big time like nobody else can just walk up and buy a ticket to a half sold arena. Why? Because half the teams had to fly across the country to play in the stinkin' tournament and their fans only had 48 hours to book a flight. On some real talk, who can afford to do that? Facebook a boy when you've got court side seats in Indianapolis for the Final Four if you wanna impress me pimpin'!
8. If you win the bracket challenge and get the travelin' trophy don't try to keep the stupid thing or try to pawn it down at Big Momma's Pawn & Chicken Shack! You can't do anything with a trophy in the streets but get beat up or drink out of it and guess what pimpin'? Ned the Whino won't drink with you because he drinks straight out of the bottle! That's why they call it a travelin' trophy your moron! It's travels!!! Return it next year and I mean it!!
9. Don't call in sick Thursday and Friday because you'll look like a complete fool! Trust me. Those clowns are still unemployed from gettin' fired last year for sittin' in the the sports bar gettin' it in simply because they didn't invite their bosses to join them. Just be honest bruh because he would have rolled with you and you'd still have a job! Use a vacation day and you won't have to hide out all day! Trust me! I do it every year!
10. Finally, don't spend the next 24 hours askin' folks "Who's your Final Four teams" so you can pick yours. This is an independent project tonight. No cheatin because it's an open book test!
You've officially been warned by the playa bracket police! You know how we get it in so let's get it in!
Playas Thesaurus:
1) Dadgummit: In my Bobby Bowden voice to keep from cursin' you boyz out!
2) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc.
3) Crib: noun - house, flat, place or residence
Holla At Ya Boy!
JayGravesReport
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