Highjacked (How Donald Duck held the Seattle O.C. at gun point andcalled that play)

"What the %$#&!"
Benjamin Franklin once said, “We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.” John Wayne pulled up in a big body Chevy with some of the homies and said, “Life is tough, but it’s tougher if you’re stupid.” Then Bertrand Russell stood up and shouted, “The trouble thing with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.”

Well playboy…the stupid was definitely cocksure sure in the Seattle coach’s booth on Sunday night when they put the ball in the air on 2nd and goal from the 1 yard line. Then some dun named Malcolm Butler became a hero in New England forever as he picked off Russell Wilson to secure a 28-24 Super Bowl victory.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! That was the dumbest play call in the history of the Super Bowl! As a matter of fact pimpin’, that was the dumbest play call in the history of football based on the circumstances. You’ve got the ball on the 1 yard line with the NFL Championship on the line and all of a sudden Donald Duck pulls a gun on a boy, highjacks the headset and calls the play?

No way does an experienced offensive coordinator call that play. No way does Pete Carroll allow it to be called. It had to be Donald Duck or Ricohet Rabbit bruh! No human being called that play. Not when you’ve got a dun in your huddle that his momma calls him Beast Mode! Not when you’ve got a cat that is impossible to bring down that can get 1 yard in his pajamas, slippers and mornin’ breath.

Marshawn Lynch had 102 yards on 24 carries bruh! He was averagin’ 4.3 yards per carry and you don’t give him the rock on second down with little less than thirty seconds on the clock for all of the marbles? Here’s an example of smart people tryin’ too hard to be smart. It’s called over-thinkin’ the situation playa.

You put the ball in the air and some cat that needed ID to get into the stadium picked your pocket. Wheredeydodatat? Now I can’t just put it on the dull coordinator and Pete because Russell Wilson forced the joint in there knowin’ that the dun was covered. He’s on the 1 for cryin’ out loud, if the cat is standin’ right next to him all he’s gotta do is jump the route. All he literally had to do was put his hands out in front of the receiver. C’mon Russ I know you can see better than that.

Keep in mind playboy, I’ve got no dog in this fight. I’m just callin’ it like I see it.

Let me put it where the goats can get it bruh! An old timer once told me when I was kid playin’ Pop Warner football that there are 3 things that can happen when you throw the football and 2 of them are bad. I know that the game has changed over the years but the basic concepts don’t EVER change. You’re always gonna have to block and tackle and you’ve gotta THINK before you let the ball go.

What blew my mind was Pete Carroll tryin’ to explain this foolishness durin’ his post-game joint. This dun got up in front of human beings with brains and eye balls and said, “On second down we throw the ball really to try to waste that play if we score we do, if we don’t , we run it in on the next.” After that dun said that it was like on SpongeBob when a boy says somethin’ stupid and then the cat he’s talkin’ to blinks and it makes the squishy sound. Yeah that was the press bruh! Boys were lookin’ at him like they wanted to fight him. “Don’t tell me no stupid stuff like that bruh!” And that’s the edited version.

What really tripped me out was the Seahawks defense tryin’ to fight a boy after the turnover that essentially cost them the game. New England is in victory formation and all of a sudden the Legion of Boom starts squabbin’ because they’ve lost the game. Don’t fight the Patriots you idiots! Go fight the clown that called that hideous play and you’ve got “I’m only here so I don’t get fined” in the backfield salivatin’ for the football.

After maybe the worst play call in the history of mankind the Seahawks offensive coordinator barely got a ride back to the hotel after the game. Can you imagine bein’ him this mornin’? Dull!!! I can just hear him tryin' to explain to the fellas what happened.


"Man all of a sudden these cats kicked in the door just as I'm about to call the play. They had on ski masks so you really couldn't see their faces. The first cat had some extremely big ears with a black and white tuxedo on kinda looked like Martin Lawrence but his head was bigger and he was two toned light skinned. Then the dun with the gun was talkin' with a lisp because he kept sayin' 'Get the headschlet! Get the headschlet!' I thought it was Lou Holtz at first but he was taller! Ole boy pistol whipped me and then called the play dawg. I was helpless!"

If you lose the game you gotta lose it with Beast Mode gettin’ stopped at the goal line with time expirin’. Not with Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and Ricohet Rabbit holdin’ boyz at gun point callin’ plays tryin' to convince them that they can afford to waste plays in the Super Bowl! And don't me get outta hear without sayin' Russell Wilson choked! He never should have thrown that football into traffic. You gotta throw it into the stands and live to see another play! Stop me when I start lyin’!



Playas Thesaurus:
 

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude , guy, etc.
2) Big Body Chevy: noun – Chevy Caprice from 1981 to 1988 body style.
3) Pimpin’: noun – the person that I’m talkin’ to.
4) Let me put it where the goats can get it bruh!: Let me break it all the way down for you. Goats eat off of the ground so I’m layin’ it out for you as plainly as possible.
5) Joint: noun – in this the ball when I’m talkin’ about Russell Wilson and then the case press conference when I’m talkin’ about Pete Carroll. However, it could mean any number of things dependin’ upon how it’s used in context.
6) Squabbin’: verb – to fight, the act of fightin’
7) Dull: adjective- pathetic, terrible. I’m don’t even wanna look it you bruh!

Holla At Ya Boy!
JayGravesReport
#thebestdressedmaninmedia
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport
Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheJayGravesReport
Instagram: JayGravesReport
The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!

No comments:

Post a Comment

Most Recent Fire!

Top 10 Blazin' Hot Joints of the Last 30 Days!

LinkWithin