Lamps (Why Lakers fans about to get pledged for the next few years)

"It's about to be a minute before we do this again bruh!"

Henry David Thoreau once said, “It is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things.” Mark Twain seemed restless when he said, “Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.” Then Jim Carry came off even smarter than the other two when he said, “Desperation is a necessary ingredient to learning anything or creating anything. Period. If you ain’t desperate at some point, you ain’t interesting.”

Well…the Los Angeles Lakers are as interestin’ as they can possibly get at this point because they’re as desperate as they can possibly get right now playboy! Now that Kobe’s finally gotten what he’s always wanted. To be the leadin’ man in his own Broadway stage play, “The Mamba’s in Charge & Everybody Else Needs to Shut Up and Get Out of the Way!” I told you boyz that Kobe is the reason for the season in the Hot Joint entitled, "Lil' Ole Me" that I did earlier this week.

They couldn’t keep Pau Gasol from sprintin’ out of the joint even after they offered him $30 million. It’s so bad that he runs out into the middle of the street and catches a freakin’ cab all the way to Chicago. As he’s gettin’ out of the ride Carlos Boozer is gettin’ in to ride back to LA.

So let me get this straight playa! The almighty Lakers lose one of their best players to Chicago only to sign the dun that the Bulls threw out of the window along with the bath water. Wheredeydodatat?

The Bulls amnestied that dun which means that essentially they cut him but the $16.8 million salary doesn’t count towards the salary cap and luxury tax. However, they still owe Boozer his bread. Once a boy is amnestied other teams around the league can bid on him to pick him up. Whoever bids the highest gets him. Well, the Lakers won the freakin’ bid at $3.25 million. That means that out of all of the teams in the league nobody was willin’ to pay more than $3.25 million to take him. So the Bulls are on the hook for the remainin’ $13.6. That should tell Lakers fans all that they need to know about the state of Laker Nation at this point pimpin’.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! The Lakers are hot mess! Plain and simple. They let the Mamba have his way and now he’s eatin’ every viable option on the menu and he's scared everything else away. Whenever you lose a boy of value to another team and get their hand me downs back, you got problems. And this wasn’t a trade!

Have you ever heard the old adage “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure?” That only applies if they don’t have to play with Kobe playboy. When Boozer shows up in LA with all of that “Black” on his head (it's like paint) tryin’ to draw in his hair line and beard that’s gonna be the first six problems. Then Kobe is gonna start talkin’ crazy to him because he’s…well…Carlos Boozer!

The desperation didn’t stop with Boozer bruh. They ran out yesterday and signed Ed Davis! All of the duns hangin’ out on Crenshaw said in unison, “Who?” Ned the Whino hangin’ out in the vacant lot says, “Ed Davis dawg! You know the cat that used to work down at the check cashin’ joint! Ed Davis! You know him, he used to run with Lil’ Elbow and Ricky nem?” The Block: “Naw…his name sounds familiar! Light skinned-ed dude?” Ned: Naw, he look like a lighter skinned Chill Will!” Block: “I think I know who you talkin’ bout.”

"Y'all already know this is some...."

That’s what the Lakers are down to signin’ now bruh. They also added Jordan Hill on a 2 year deal worth $18 million. Then they grabbed Robert Sacre off of the LA D-Fenders (D-League) after they sent him down there to get better in 2012. Wow! It's bad bruh.

Oh believe me playa, Kobe is gonna be treatin’ these dudes like indentured servants around this piece. Talk about a car accident waitin’ to happen. The Lakers may as well be drivin’ 245 mph blind-folded, backwards, at night, on three wheels, drunk off some of that old school Mad Dog 20/20 and St. Ides mixed in 40 ounce bottle with a dun hangin’ out of the passenger side tryin’ to holla at TLC because they're gonna be some SCRUBS!

It’s bound to crash and burn with Kobe holdin’ his $48 million up out of the flames still talkin’ crazy to everybody in the ride. And that’s the edited version!

Will somebody please tell me what Byron Scott could have had left to say in a third freakin’ interview with these dudes on Wednesday? At this point their askin’ him what his blood type is, what his momma's favorite foods were and how long does it take for him to get dressed in the mornin’. It doesn’t matter who’s coachin’ that team it’s gonna be train wreck for at least the next two to three seasons. So they can either hire him or Sponge Bob because it won’t make a bit of difference. Stop draggin’ this cat through the mud. Kobe’s gonna coach himself and determine how many minutes he’s gonna play anyway so stop wastin’ ole boy’s time.

At some point you gotta concede that this whole thing is foolishness and we’re screwed. I got a Pitt Bull on the loose and the neighborhood is full of kids. It’s my fault for continuin’ to encourage his behavior and it’s not gonna end well. Instead of Lakers fans throwin’ all of their gear away for the next few years. They can easily turn their shirts inside out and tell boyz that they’re eternal Lamps (Omega Psi Phi pledgees) because the colors are the same. It won’t be anything to be fanatic about in LA unless you’re a Clippers fan and Donald Sterling is gonna drag them through the dirt for the next couple of years two. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
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The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!