Black Monday (Why Shanahan took the hit but RGIII is the real problem)

"OK you duns are gonna figure out it wasn't all my fault playa!"

I stopped by the brown bag joint in the hood to get a bite to eat and saw these cats sitting in the back arguing about death. Albert Einstein said, “The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there’s no risk of accident for someone who’s dead.” Buddha wiped the barbeque sauce off of his mouth and said, “To be idle is a short road to death and to be diligent is a way of life; foolish people are idle, wise people are diligent.” Then my boy Mark Twain ordered another round of wings and said, “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approve of it.”

Well playboy… on Black Monday the Detroit Lions, Tampa Bay Bucs, Minnesota Vikings and Washington Redskins all held funerals for their head coaching jobs and Mark Twain sent letters to all of them.

I’m trippin’ that Detroit had the, in my Grinch That Stole Christmas voice, “The unmitigated gall!” to fire Jim Schwartz on the grounds that he fell short of their goal. What goal bruh? It’s freakin’ Detroit! The Lions have been one of the worst franchises in the history of pro sports and now they wanna have standards?

It’s like the chick that’s been Alice the Goon her whole life. Then gets a pair of UGG boots for Christmas and starts dissing boyz because her feet look good!

I mean cats in the D started smelling themselves when they went 10-6 in 2011 and started singing that Beyoncé Irreplaceable joint. It’s Detroit bruh! The same Detroit that hasn’t won a championship since 1957!

Berry Gordy was still working on the assembly line at the Lincoln-Mercury plant back then playa. He didn’t start Motown until 1959! So why are boyz acting like they’re the fine chick in the club because they had one good season?

Then Tampa ran ole boy Greg Schiano out of the joint after only 2 seasons. Granted he was 11-21 and I completely understand them putting a tag the toe of his job because he came in with a bang going 6-4 out the gate and then he went 5-17 down the stretch. That dun must have been drinking like Denzel in "Flight." How do you just nose dive the plane like that and act like nobody is gonna see it?

Minnesota threw Leslie Frazier out of the ride while it was still moving too! In three seasons he went 21-32-1 capped off by a 5-10-1 record this year. When you’re that bad how do you manage a tie pimpin’? Just call it either way because it doesn’t change the appearance. That’s like dating a broad with 3 missing teeth as opposed to 4! She’s a train wreck regardless.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! Why was Mike Shanahan still in the building when the grim reaper showed up bruh? That dun’s job was brain dead in like week 5! They had already taken all of the internal organs out and had given them to the cats on the transplant list.

Did Mike really think that they were gonna keep him in Washington? He was 21-40 with the same winning percentage as ole dull Steve Spurrier and Jim Zorn. Now granted, I think RGIII is still a sucka but they’ve got too much bread tied into him to let him go.

I told boyz when RGIII was at Baylor that he was as fake as a 3 dollar bill because everything that came out of his mouth was rehearsed. He never seems genuine in anything that he says. He always gives the answer that he thinks you want to hear and boyz in that locker room that grew up like I did could see it a mile away.

The last thing real G’s wanna be around is a fake cat and especially if he’s the team leader. So it doesn’t matter who the Redskins hire they’re destined to fail as long as RGIII is still on the roster!

He’s like some forms of pancreatic cancer bruh. It shows up but nobody can see it initially and then by the time a boy starts having symptoms it’s too late. Ownership doesn’t see that this dun is a problem so they’re changing the bandages all around him but the team knows the truth. He’s killin' the team and nobody sees it. Dull!!!

Did Shanahan need to go? Absolutely! Why? Because he’s out of touch with these young players. However, did the Redskins screw themselves by taking RGIII? Absolutely! Are they stuck with him and his meddling old man for the foreseeable future? Absolutely! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
JayGravesReport
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