Chucky (The Jordan Issues Part II)

"Ain't this some...!"

The famous author, Sarah Ban Breathnach, once said, “The authentic self is the soul made visible. “ Mason Cooley, the famous aphorist, stood up and said, “Malice is always authentic and sincere.” Then Big Momma poured out a lil’ liquor for all the dead homies before she said, “All you gotta do is sit and listen to folks and they’ll tell you everything you need to know about them.”

I don’t know why boyz just can’t see Michael Jordan for who he really is. He’s the G.O.A.T. but he’s also an authentic hater when it comes to LeBron James. Boyz are so caught up in the “Brand” that they can’t see it. He’s got boyz so wide open that they keep buying the same ole sneakers that we were rockin’ in the '90's but he keeps tellin’ boyz that even though those joints are old you have to have them. Back in my day that was called the Oakey Doke bruh!

If you dare try to convince a Jordan fan that he’s a hater you’ll lose every time because the dun you’re talking to is rockin’ the sneakers, a Jump Man 23 jogging suit, some tight Haynes underwear and watching Space Jam wrapped up in a Chicago Bulls blanket sprayed in that horrible cologne Mike was selling years ago.

So for the sake of this argument we’re gonna change the names to protect the innocent. MJ’s name is now Chucky Johnson from Gary, In. and LeBron is now Lil’ Stacey Watkins from the same hood.

Now Chucky’s a 50 year old cat that was the truth in high school, college and in the NBA. He was a McDonald’s All-American that went on to North Carolina and won a national championship his freshman year. He played 3 years for the Tar Heels before going No.1 overall in the NBA draft in 1984. This dun went on to have a decent 10 year career in the league, nothing stellar but productive. Now he’s back at the crib coaching the Roosevelt Panthers, the local high school team.

Now Lil’ Stacey has come up through the ranks and he was named to the All-America team too. Ole boy went straight to the league and by-passed college though. He’s now in the league doing his thing. He’s doing nothing ridiculous but he IS doing his thing.

Now every Saturday morning when boyz show up at Bill Co.’s Barber Shop right off of 25^th Ave. in the “G”, which is the hottest joint on the planet. So if you didn't know now you know! Cats are talking sports and old Chucky shows up like clockwork not to get a hair cut but to get in on the conversation. Every time somebody brings up Lil’ Stacey’s name and how he’s ballin’ and representing the G well Chucky’s got something negative to say. “Man every time that dun goes to his left he’s shooting and every time he goes to his right he’s going to the rack. His game is too obvious bruh!” Boyz don’t say anything but they look at him! Y’all know that look!

One Saturday during the All-Star break when boyz were sitting around the shop choppin’ it up about how Lil’ Stacey was gonna ball out in the All-Star game Chucky breaks out and says, “Man I think Ima make a comeback bruh! I think I can still play!” Then on another Saturday he comes into the joint bragging about beating some high school kid that is currently an All-American in a game of 1 on 1 because he's promoting this party he's having.

After a while, boyz start looking at this dun sideways because he’s hatin’ on all of these young cats. If you were the greatest player to ever come out of the “G” then why are you constantly talking about what these young boyz are doing? What did boyz used to say growing up bruh? "Keep my name out yo mouth unless you want problems!"

You’re the freakin’ man that has accomplished more than anybody that has ever come out of this hood. So why can’t you give these boyz their props?

Ima keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! At some point some cat in the shop is gonna tap that dun up for being a natural born hater regardless of how great of a player he was because at this point he's just another dude hatin'. Stop me when I start lyin’ playboy! Y’all know how the hood gets down. All of these suburban cats may not know and I’ll give them a pass for not knowing. But any cat that grew up like I grew up knows that Mike is out of line pimpin’!

If he is the GREATEST BASKETBALL PLAYER TO EVER LIVE then why is this dun acting like Chucky 10 fold?

Why? Because he’s got issues like I said in the instant classic joint "The Jordan Issues." His major issues are, he’s a hater and he wants to be the greatest forever and that just ain’t gonna happen my dude! All records are meant to be broken and there will always be somebody that will come along that will be better than you whether you live to see it or not.

There was a time when boyz said that nobody is gonna be better than Wilt Chamberlin or Bill Russell! Nobody ever thought that there would be a guard better than Pistol Pete then some cat from Indianapolis named Oscar came along and averaged a freakin’ triple double for an entire season! Then a stud from Lansing came along named Irving that was a 6'9" point guard that was incredible.

All of a sudden some kid from Wlimington named Lil' Mike showed up and did what boyz never thought was possible with a basketball and was better than all of the above.

There was a time when the old timers said that nobody would EVER be as good as Marvin Gaye then some chubby kid named Luther showed up. Duns thought we had hit a plateau when color TV came out. Now we got HDTV & 3D joints! Alexander "freakin'" Graham Bell thought that he invented the ultimate with the telephone and now boyz are walking around with them joints in their pockets with a computer in it!

Now you got fools out here saying that Lebron will NEVER be as great as Mike when he’s already accomplished more than MJ did at the same age and he ain’t even in his prime yet. So to think that this cat won’t surpass Mike’s accomplishments barring injury is asinine! Never say never bruh!

If there has always been the passing of the torch. Why would you think that the flame went out when Jordan retired? There is some kid in the womb right now that will be greater than LeBron. The question is, will YOU be alive to see it? Pass the collection plate because I’m preachin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
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