Cussed Out (Spurrier's sudden change of heart)

"We got it all cleared up Big Momma!"

Samuel Butler, the Victorian-era English author,  once said, “Self-preservation is the first law of nature.” Jose Marti, Latin America writer, gave it to us like this, “An insatiable appetite for glory leads to sacrifice and death, but innate instinct leads to self-preservation and life. Then Diogenes, the Greek philosopher, shut the building down when he said, “As a matter of self-preservation, a man needs good friends or ardent enemies, for the former instruct him and the latter take him to task.”

Well it looks like South Carolina’s Jadeveon Clowney’s friends were looking out for him when they got in his ear and told him to sit out of Saturday’s ole dull Kentucky game with a muscle strain near his rib area. Then his ardent enemies (media) piled on top of him for looking out for his future.

For the past year all of these media type cats have been talking about this kid being the best college football player in the game and how he’s gonna be the sure fire 1^st pick in the 2014 NFL Draft. There were even boyz in the media suggesting last year that it would make sense for him to even sit out this season to train and avoid injury after seeing his teammate, Marcus Latimore, mangle his knee last season only to slip in the draft.

I know y’all remember boyz putting that into the atmosphere right? Well that type of foolishness is what plants seeds in kid’s heads. Now ole boy is thinking about just that. So at the hint of injury he’s looking to sit down to make sure that he doesn’t hurt his draft status! It makes sense to me! Why risk playing against some duns from Kentucky that they’ll beat blind folded.

So while boyz were piling on, the Ole Ball Coach, Steve Spurrier, got caught up in the hype too. He got pulled into the foolishness when Clowney told him at the last minute that he wasn’t going to play. Spurrier was clearly pissed about it after the game on Saturday when he said, “We would welcome Clowney back to come play for the team if he wants. But if he doesn’t want to play, he doesn’t have to play. Simple as that.” Now the words themselves weren’t bad at all but the body language said it all and boyz (media) ran with it.

Then ole Steve realized that the best freakin’ player in college football was on his roster and he ain’t coaching at Florida anymore. He’s in Columbia, South Carolina coaching some duns called the freakin’ Gamecocks! These clowns have never won anything in 120 years of playing football. Oh, I’m sorry they were the winners of a lone conference title in 1969 and George Rogers won a Heisman in 1980. That’s the extent of their trophy room. So to have Jadaveon Clowney even standing on the sideline is a blessing to all South Carolinians playboy!

Spurrier wised up real quick in Tuesday’s press conference when he told boyz that as a staff they didn’t follow proper procedure in handling the situation. The player is supposed to tell the trainer and the trainer tells the coaches blah, blah, blah and we didn’t do that.

He then went on to say, “Let me say this about Jadeveon: If he never plays another snap here, we should all be thankful and appreciative that he came to South Carolina. We’ve won 26 games, two 11-2 years, the greatest seasons we’ve had in the history of the school, so none of us need to be upset at Jadeveon, none of us.” He then went on to say that all of those No.7 jerseys boyz are rockin’ made the school a lot of bread so we need to be thankful. I paraphrased that part of it because bread just sounds better than money my dude.

Ima keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! Y’all already know Big Momma was watching the game on TV because she doesn’t like crowds. She saw Spurrier blasting her grand baby in the post-game press conference and she had Uncle Leroy drive her to Columbia on Sunday!

She had on her patent leather shoes with the purse to match and her big Sunday hat because you know she went to church before they got on the road. Y’all already know that the ole lady’s at church will curse you out for playing in the pews and chewing gum! I know firsthand pimpin’!

She walked into the complex cursing. I’m sorry she was cussin’! There is a difference playa! Cursing is when you can understand all of the words and she’s standing in one spot. Cussin’ is when they’re all coming at you at once but you can barely make them out. There is also a whole lot of finger pointing with a little spit coming your way and peppermints are falling out of the hole in her purse while she's running up one wall and sliding down the other. That's what Spurrier ran into bruh.

She got in there and read ole Steve the riot act. By the time he walked out of that office he looked like he’d been in a gang fight screamin’ “Make sure I don’t miss the press conference tomorrow. I gotta clear some things up. Right Big Momma?” You #%$*! right! Stop me when I start lyin’ bruh!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
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The quote under the caption isn’t real but its REAL talk!