Throwin' Hands

"The chain broke bruh! What can I say?"

George Orwell, the English novelist, once said, “In a time of universal deceit – telling the truth is a revolutionary act.” Eric Carr, the drummer for Kiss, said, I can’t say why people lie; they just do. Everyone has their own reasons for not telling the truth.” Then the famous journalist, H.L. Mencken, kicked in the door when he said, “It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.”

On my drive home yesterday the duns on the local R&B radio station were going in on Scottie Pippen about beating up some cat in LA just for asking for an autograph. They were talking about how ole boy just beat the brakes off of this cat and how these celebrities are out of control. “Why can’t a fan get an autograph without getting beat up?” What?

I almost crashed my ride listening to these clowns tell this foolishness. I don’t know Pip nor was I in LA over the weekend but I knew that was a lie. Just like I knew Montee Ball, the Wisconsin running back that was the 2011 Heisman Trophy finalist, getting the brakes beat off of him just outside of campus last August by 5 cats for no reason was a lie.  As soon as they reported that foolishness I knew ole boy was lyin’!

He and his teammates got into a beef with some cats like football players do at college parties and he got caught slippin’! He thought that the hood wouldn’t show up on campus and bring the noise his way. So he was walking by himself at 2:30am and got dealt with. He knew exactly who tapped him up and lied to save face ‘til it all came out. All you had to do was read TheJayGravesReport the next day playboy! No investigation needed! Just tell me the story and I’ll tell you if they’re lyin’ or not!

Well, the LAPD can waste their time investigating why Pipp laid hands on ole boy looking for an autograph if they want to or they can just ask me what happen. First of all, Scottie ain’t crazy! Second of all, nobody with good sense goes from 0 to 60 and starts swinging on a cat just for asking for an autograph.  

Witnesses say that Scottie was having dinner with his family at Nobu an upscale joint in Malibu. The so-called victim was also inside the restaurant taking pictures of Pipp the whole time. So he’s being rude and a bother for starters. As Scottie is leaving ole boy is still taking pictures. He’s being an irritant but still no reason to throw hands right?  

Now let me take over the story from there bruh! Scottie has probably already told ole boy to chill out with the pictures and he fired back with some crazy remark like, “screw you” and that was the edited version playa. Then as the Chicago Bulls legend gets up to leave the dun with the camera gets up and follows him out still talking a 100 worth of noise as he continues to take pictures. Now he’s telling Scottie, “I can do whatever I want to do bruh and it ain’t nothin’ you can do about it.” Hey, I’m just keepin’ it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st!

That’s the argument that witnesses say ensued! Now the cat with the camera is like the fool that used to throw rocks at the neighbor’s dog that was chained to the tree out back. You know that cat? The same fool that everybody told to stop throwing rocks at “King” but he wouldn’t listen. Then one day the chain broke and he got mauled.

This same cat that Scottie jumped on probably has a history of coming sideways to celebrities and on Sunday the chain broke. Now does that give Pipp an excuse for destroying this dun? Not at all!  However, it does explain to you why this clown got bit. See boyz tend to forget that just because a boy is rich and famous that he didn’t grow up in the hood. They also think that somehow they’ve lost all of their ghetto instincts too. Money doesn’t alter the instincts that you learn growing up in the hood. It just has a tendency to mask them.

 You can’t come at folks crazy and expect not to get hands thrown your way. When ole boy told him to chill he should have just chilled. Then he could have bypassed the visit to the ER and continued to enjoy his Sunday evening.

If he’d had good sense the joint could have gone this way. Scottie: “Hey dude can you stop taking pictures of me and my family? We’re trying to have a private moment here.” Victim: “Oh I’m sorry bruh! I got little carried away. Can I have your autograph when you finish eating?” Scottie: “Sure thing bruh!” Victim: “Thanks!”  Then everybody goes to the crib with both eyes in tack.

Here we go! I hear that clown sreamin’ from the roof top again, “That still doesn’t justify Scottie beating this guy up!” It sure doesn’t bruh! I’m just telling you how he could have avoided getting the brakes beat off of him and gone home without a headache and a pulsating eye.

There's only one word in the English language that would make a 47 year old black man go from 0 to 60 in a heart beat. If Mr. Camera Man tried to get creative and use a word that rhymes with trigger then I would completely understand the chain breaking. "IF" that were the case. Otherwise, your feeding me straight up lies playboy! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
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The quote under the caption isn’t real but its REAL talk!