The Ole Man

"To all the real cats out there makin' it happen for their seeds!"

Pope John XXIII said, “It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father.” Sigmund Freud gave it to us like this, “I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection.” Then Bill Cosby leaned back in his chair and said, “Nothing I’ve ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children.”

I can’t remember any of the things that my father bought me as a kid but I vividly remember all of the time that he spent with me. My fondest memories were being able to look up into the stands and see him walk into the stadium as we were warming up. My ole man never wanted to miss kick off home or away. If it were 20 degrees and snowing he was gonna be there, you could bet your last dollar on that bruh.

Once I saw him walk in the joint it was on and poppin’! I was ready to play. I couldn’t imagine growing up without the support of my dad or most importantly the fear of him. Growing up in Gary, In. was full of temptation and a boy could get into anything or get talked into anything if they weren’t careful. The threat of boyz gang bangin’ or gettin’ jumped because you weren’t affiliated was always real. Cats had choices to make and some ultimately made the wrong ones.

It was always easy for Ya Boy though! I was more afraid of what my ole man would do to me than what any cat in the street would or could do. So I took my chances in the streets, played ball and went to class because I knew that if nothing else my dad would protect me. The funny thing is, the streets protected me as I got older because they knew I always had somewhere to go and my ole man was a real dude that boyz respected! 

I remember when I was  5 years old some cat robbed my older brother John at gun point at the gas station and he was only 8. Well, we never saw the gun because he stuck it in his back under his shirt. It could have been his finger for all we knew.

My dad was sitting in the car as the whole thing was going down. John got back in the ride and never said word to him because he knew dad would have gotten out of the ride, talking crazy, pulled his gun and gotten killed or killed somebody out there because he didn’t play about his kids. The ole man went to his grave many years later never knowing about that incident because we loved him enough to protect him on that day even as little kids.

Just knowing that he always had our backs was good enough for us bruh! My goal as a father is to give my children the same love and protection as my dad gave to my 4 siblings and I. To never miss those moments that mean the most and to be respected and feared at the same time. See if they respect me they’ll value my opinion and if they fear me they’ll make the right decision even when they don’t agree with me.

So on this Father’s Day I’ll be at my 16 year old son’s baseball game with my family and as he walks up to the plate I hope that he’ll give me the same look that I gave my dad when I was his age. It’s the “Thanks for always being here dad and I’ll do my best because you care so much!” look.

Understand this playboy, if you’ve got seeds they’ll grow up whether you water and nurture them or not. However, if you ignore them they’ll grow up like weeds and choke out all that is good in the soil but if you water and nurture them they’ll become an asset to the lawn and boyz will slow down to admire your work.  Happy Father’s Day playas!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
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The quote under the caption IS REAL today!