DeAndre Jordan outta his mind sayin' Gold Medal is above NBA Ship! "Cease and Desist"

"I know I was talkin' crazy bruh but that's how I get through the day!"

Jim Rohn, the author and motivational speaker, once said, "Affirmation without discipline is the beginning of delusion." Richard Dawkins, the English ethologist and biologist, gave it to us like this, "A delusion is something that people believe in despite a total lack of evidence." Then Christian Nestle Bovee, the famous writer, broke it down like a G in the projects when he spit, "No man is happy without a delusion of some kind. Delusions are as necessary to our happiness as realities." 

Well playas...DeAndre Jordan is not only delusional but he's completely lost his mind in order to find happiness. Earlier this week this dun told ESPN that winnin' a Gold Medal was better than winnin' an NBA Championship. Don't take my word for it bruh here's what this dun said out of his OWN mouth about Gold Medals: 

"I think they're above NBA rings. I may get in trouble for saying that, but I believe that. I feel like this is more special. You're not just playing teams in the U.S. You're playing teams from all over the world. And this is even more special because there's an NBA champion crowned every year, but this is every four years. You've got to really think about that, man, because it's extremely special."

Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! DeAndre has been over there  makin' Big Momma's Kool Aid out of the drinkin' water, standin' in dirty water butt naked gettin' stung by mosquitos if he's to the point where he believes that a Gold Medal is above and NBA title. Now that dun doesn't really believe that he's just convinced himself of it because it's easier to function in the world knowin' that he'll probably never win an NBA championship. 

He plays for the freakin' Clippers for cryin' out loud!!! He's not winnin' the darn Western Conference semifinal let along a Finals on that team bruh. So ole boy is merely psychin' himself out by sayin' some foolishness like that. 

How on earth would a Gold Medal be above an NBA title when you're playin' against competition from the rec league in the suburbs. Some of these countries are showin' up with boyz that have regular jobs that had to take off to play in this foolishness. Some of these duns had to fill out an FMLA form or lie to their wives to disappear for two weeks to play! And the teams that are playin' with professionals. They're all tryin' to get to the NBA!!!  But you're tellin' me that beatin' these fools is above beatin'  the best in the world? Stop it! You sound crazy! 

DeAndre!!! I need you to put the blunt down bruh because there's somethin' in it that you aren't accustomed to smokin'. You don't have to say ignorant stuff just to justify in your mind feelin' good about winnin' something. And that's the edited version. It's cool bruh! A Gold Medal is a big deal. It just isn't bigger than winnin' an NBA Championship. I need for you to cease and desist on that foolishness! 

It's okay to play in the NBA and not win a title. Everybody isn't goin' to win one but EVERYBODY can get paid. It's just what it is bruh. Only one team per year can win a ship and it normally goes to the duns that play on the BEST TEAM. Or in the case this year, the dun that completely took over the Finals, put the team on his back and won the joint. But not everybody can do or even has the DNA to pull it off. 

And please don't start listenin' to so many of these fake media-types that are sayin' that everybody that plays in the NBA is tryin' to win a championship because that's simply NOT true. Everybody isn't tryin' to win a championship because everybody can't win a championship. In order to win one you've gotta be on a team that is capable of winnin' one bruh. If you're in places like Denver, Milwaukee, Atlanta, Utah, Philly, Sacramento, Detroit, LA, pick one bruh etc. You ain't winnin' jack squat and you've gotta be cool with that. Let's keep it 100 bruh! If you ain't playin' for whatever team LeBron is on and the Warriors you ain't winnin' until they finish playin' with the ball. 

So DeAndre, you don't have to make up some foolishness to feel good about not winnin' a ring. Why don't you start with shootin' free throws at a higher than 40 percent clip. Let's start there. That can be your ring. Stop me when I start lyin'! 

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb - to say 

2) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific. 

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase - to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it. 

Holla At Ya Boy! 

JayGravesReport

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The caption under the photo isn't real but its REAL talk! 

Priority Seating (Why it's time for some boyz to give up their seats on the NBA Top 50 All-Time bus)

"Some of you cats gotta go bruh! You already know I'm sitting down!"

As I pulled up downtown to drop off one of the homies at the bus station. I see these three cats boarding his bus arguing about limitations. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe shouted, “The man with insight enough to admit his limitations comes nearest to perfection.” Confucius says, “The superior man is distressed by the limitations of his ability; he is not distressed by the fact that men do not recognize the ability that he has.” Then Les Brown, the famous motivational speaker, threw his bag in his seat and said, “Life has no limitations except the ones you make.”

Well listen up playboy! There is limited space on the bus, so once it fills up some of you duns are gonna have to give up your seats. The joint with the Top 50 NBA Players of all-time pulled off in 1996 to commemorate the 50 year anniversary of the founding of the league on June 6, 1946. Now it has just pulled back into the station and there are still only 50 seats on it.

However, over the past 18 years boyz have bought tickets to ride so somebody’s gotta either volunteer to get off or get thrown off of the joint. Seeing that nobody is going to go peacefully we gotta start yanking boyz off.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! It ain’t personal playboy, it’s all business. Since 1996 duns like Tim Duncan, Kobe, LeBron, Kevin Garnett, Jason Kidd, Dirk Nowitizki, Gary Payton, Steve Nash, Allen Iverson, Reggie Miller, Dwayne Wade and Paul Pierce have bought tickets bruh and need to get on that joint! So who’s gotta go?

Now I'm going to put duns on and pull boyz off by position just to keep it fair! I'm not sure how they put the list together originally. Was it a certain amount of players per position or just the top 50 studs or what? So Ima just swap by position!

Well first of all, let’s get the obvious cats into priority seating ASAP. Kobe and LeBron are first to get on and you can yank duns like Hal Greer, Paul Arizin and Dolph Schayers for starters. I don’t care who goes but pick two. Let’s not waste too much time here.

Then Tim Duncan for George Mikan! Do I really need to give a reason here bruh? OK, over 24,000 points to 10,000 points and 13K in rebounds vs. 4K! Really? Get his bags and call that dun a cab. Kevin Garnett is standing here holding the funky Gucci bag so let’s pull Bill Walton’s butt right out of his seat ASAP.

Here’s my southern California former UCLA groupie screamin’, “Are you kidding Bill’s a legend!” He probably is in your mind playa but KG’s sitting on more than 25K in points vs. Bill’s 6,215. He’s got more than 10K in rebounds vs. Bill’s 4,923 and he’s got more than 12K in dimes vs. Bill’s 1,590! Stop questioning me and get that dun off now!

I now I’m about to make some boyz mad now. A.I. for Nate Archibald! Don’t question it playa. Trust me, it hurts me as much as it hurts you but it’s gotta happen. Just look at the numbers bruh! A.I.’s got more than 3K more points and ten times the heart! Then Gary Payton for Bill Sharmon! Who? My point exactly! Jason Kidd with more than 17K in points, 2684 in assists and more than 12K in rebounds for Dave Bing. Stop hollering and subdue him because we’re on a schedule!

I know boyz love Lenny Wilkens but he’s gotta go because Reggie Miller’s gotta get on the joint with 8,000 more points than he does. I'm talking about ole crooked teeth Reggie! Not the dun you see today on TNT. The cat that had the jacked up bottom row that could shoot from the parking lot! That Reggie Miller! They’re called shooting guards right? So the dun with more points should be on the freakin’ bus. Let’s move on.

I know boyz love them some Dave DeBusschere but it’s time to bounce playboy. You ain't gotta go home but you gotta get off of the bus! Dwayne Wade’s got more points, assists and rebounds plus he’s won 3 NBA titles and Dave left the crib empty handed. Lastly, Kevin McHale was the man in Boston with Bird and Parish but it’s time to, like we used to say in the G, unhance that seat playboy! Paul Pierce needs to sit down because he’s got 7,000 more points and crazy swag!

Now I know that boyz are upset with me but the top 50 will keep changing as time goes on. Don’t get upset just pull the numbers up and if your boy has to dip and find another ride home it’s cool. There’s only a hand full of cats that have permanent seats bruh and you already know who they are. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
JayGravesReport
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The quote under the caption isn’t real but its REAL talk!

Dimes

"I help boyz score and I get what I want too!"

The Dalai Lama once said, “Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” The famous sales guru, Zig Ziglar, spit that fire when he said, “If you can dream it, then you can achieve it. You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want.”

Chris Paul won the All-Star MVP award by on Sunday night by helping boyz get what they wanted, buckets. CP3 finished with 20 points and 15 dimes to lead the West over the East 143-138. He understands that his job is to help his teammates accomplish their goals. So he was more than happy to oblige because Durant picked up 30 and his Clippers teammate Blake Griffin put 19 into the kitty.

Being a point guard in an All-Star game is like a ghetto thief rolling through the suburbs for the first time discovering that nobody locks their doors, nobody has an alarm and most importantly, nobody owns a Pit Bull. You can completely have your way.

“You just want to play fast. I like to throw the lob. I like to see guys hit 3’s, “Paul said. “When we’re out on the court with all that firepower, why wouldn’t you want to make passes? You’ve got KD filling one of the lanes, you’ve got Blake, Kobe on the wing. There’s nothing like it.”

Now let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! These games are worthless to watch until the last 7 minutes only if boyz have kept it close. Fortunately, it was close in the 4th quarter on Sunday night and boyz started playing defense down the stretch. Ole Kobe was hyped and going all out on LeBron blocking two of his shots and talking a $100 worth of noise in the process. Like he completely forgot ole boy gave it to him when it counted a few weeks ago. It was still great to see the passion was there even though the joint didn't count. It had just as much point as the Bobcats trying to win some more games this season.

What I couldn’t understand was why was Buster Brown playing in the All-Star Game and he’s been battling a shoulder injury? If Dwight’s been hurt then it would have only made sense to use the All-Star break to re-charge the batteries and get healthy. So what’s really going on playa?

Your team sucks right now primarily because you’re not giving 100% every night and, well, Jim Buss is an idiot but that's another story. Your boy Kobe is frustrated with you and you wanna play in a game that means absolutely nothing? How dull is that bruh? Was I the only person that noticed that or what? Mitch, trade that dun before he destroys your team this summer.

Now that the All-Star break is over let’s get back down to business. Coming down the stretch it’s Miami, New York, San Antonio and Oklahoma City. San Antonio’s got the best record in the league at 42-12 but they’ll run out of gas in the Western Conference Finals again. That's even if they've got enough gas to make it that far. So I’m not looking for them to make a serious run. Like I keep saying, New York can’t win with both Melo and Amare’ on the floor at the same time in the playoffs because there aren’t enough balls to go around.

I can hear some clown screaming, “You forgot about the Clippers and the Pacers.” In my Big Momma voice, “Shut up and get out of grown folk conversation!” Notice that she leaves the "S's" off to let you know "she ain't playin'!" Neither of those teams are championship ready. They’re good but not ready. So go sit down somewhere. Where was I? Oh yeah, so again we’re left with Miami and OKC! We'll get the same result as last year because OKC is the same team they were last year. The Beard was hiding in the toilet the entire series so not having him doesn't change anything.

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport