"Now I gotta start dressing like a grown man instead of a 15 year old! This sucks!" |
Allen Iverson 38, finally got the Answer that he didn't want to here, "Go sit somewhere playboy!" This dun made it official and retired on Wednesday. He finally came to terms with the fact that his sneakers are for fashion only these days. Ole boy has been holding on to the hope that he could lace them boyz up again in the NBA but like I always say, “Ain’t but one cat undefeated and that’s Father Time pimpin’!”
Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Did this dun really have to say that he’s retired? He hasn’t played in the NBA since 2010 bruh. He hasn’t played professionally since 2011 in Turkey. Normally when you aren’t playing and nobody picks you up, you’re already retired homeboy!
It’s like you breaking up with your girl three years ago and she’s just now calling you up to tell you that she’s no longer dating you and is about to move on. What? Look here playa, when the Denver Nuggets shipped you to Detroit in ’08 and then you showed up in Memphis a few months later only to find yourself in Philly a few months after that, it was pretty much over then bruh. The fat lady was climbing through your window singing "I'm Every Woman" and you weren't paying attention.
If the stint in Turkey wasn’t some old school smelling salt for you, I don’t know what else the NBA could have done to tell you that you guys were no longer a couple. Back in February they pulled an old playa move on him by offering him an opportunity to play in the Developmental League.
You know how a boy does when he really don’t wanna mess with the chick anymore but he doesn’t want her to be mad at him. So he tells her, let’s take it slow and see how it goes but he has no real intentions on getting back with her. He’ll just come through every now and then ‘til she gets interested in some other cat because you never know when the streets will get dry. Straight playa move right there homie!
Here's the answer for you "Answer" and for all of those ladies out here hounding boyz. If a boy is sitting next to the phone waiting to pick it up on the first ring like "ole Marcus darling" then you got him wide open. If he keeps letting that joint go to voicemail he's looking for a fresh set of legs!
Martin Luther King Jr. tried to holler at him but it went straight over his head when he spit this, “Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality.” So Big Momma finally came down the hall in her raggedy house coat and those torn up slippers that she’s been rockin' since the Montgomery Bus Boycott of 1955 and said, “What the man is trying to tell you baby is that you ought to sit you butt down and let these young boyz play. You done had yo turn already!”
Big Momma was right playboy and he’s got nothing to be ashamed of either. They listed that dun at 6’0” but he was all of 5’10” if he was an inch tall and he didn’t weigh but 100 lbs. soaking wet with a brick in his pocket and he became one of the best pound-for-pound scorers in NBA history. He averaged 26.7 ppg and 6.2 assists during his 14 year career.
This cat was a former No.1 pick in the draft coming out of Georgetown and was the 1997 Rookie of the Year. He was the 2001 NBA MVP, a three time All-NBA First Team selection and a four-time scoring champion. So don't get it twisted, I got jokes but he was a beast when he was in his prime. He played with more heart than 99% of duns in the league now.
So he’s got nothing to hang his head over except those played out corn rows that he just won’t give up. Me and the fellas are gonna make a midnight run and climb through both he and RGIII’s windows at the same time like the Fed’s hitting two dope boyz in the ghetto and cut their hair.
On some real talk, I gotta give RGIII a pass because he's like 23, 24! Iverson is freakin' 38 bruh! So it's definitely time to cut them joints!
I think once he gets that burden off of his head he’ll be able to think straight and move on. Most importantly, now that he's officially retired, he's gotta come out of the 15 year old kid's wardrobe. The flat bib and matching sneakers is kid gear playboy! What kind of women are you hangin' out with? Duns from the Disney Channel? Nobody is gonna take to you seriously at 38 looking like some kid hustla from around the way because this is grown man business now!
Listen up playboy, all you need is a hair cut, some slacks, button downs and take them freakin' tattoos off of your hands and we can rebuild your brand. You got way too much knowledge of the game not to be gettin' paid for it. Stop me when I start lyin’!
Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreportFacebook: www.facebook.com/TheJayGravesReport
Instagram: JayGravesReport
The quote under the caption isn’t real but its REAL talk!
No comments:
Post a Comment