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| "Shhhh y'all hear that? That's that new up tempo on everything I got sound!" |
RGIII needed to be sitting in Mr. Willie’s chair on Monday morning to get some of that ole uneducated old school wisdom. Ole boy was looking for all of the symbolism he could find before the game to inspire the Redskin crowd but Michael Vick and the new P-Funk All-stars wasn’t buying it. Y'all know Chip Kelly was trying to bring the entire Parliament Funkadelic to Philly but Oregon wasn't having it so he had to rename that joint George Clinton style. Same funk different band playa. They passed on the show and all of the fake symbolism by going to work early and often to pull out a 33-27 road win.
RGIII thought that he was Hamlet or somebody on Broadway bruh. This dun showed up to the joint wearing an autographed Les Dauphins de Nice T-shirt, the American football team in France where he worked out in July during his honeymoon. Symbolism! During warm ups the cameras were all over him recording every freakin’ move he made. Symbolism! Then he led a team huddle on the 10 yard line just feet from the spot where he injured his knee 8 months ago. Symbolism! Then instead of just running out of the tunnel during starting lineups he carries the Redskin flag all the way to the other end zone for an extended kneel down for the world to see. Fake Symbolism!
Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! If that dun had been on Broadway he would have gotten a standing ovation but the Funkateers were waiting on the other end. When Chip Kelly covered his mouth and started calling plays the symbolism went right out of the window playboy. It was a track meet and the Redskins were struggling to breathe out there. By the time they blew the whistle to end the first half the Eagles had run 53 plays and boyz’ lungs had exploded. The Redskins spent their halftime getting lung transplants.
The next thing RGIII knew his symbolism was down 26 points, Hamlet was cursing out the beer man and Shakespeare had been thrown out of the stadium for inappropriate gestures. Even though he rallied his boyz back it was too little too late. Vick was out there looking like he was fresh out of Va. Tech completing 15-25 passes for 203 yards and 2 touchdowns and running for another 53 yards and another touchdown. LeSean McCoy put up 184 yards on 31 touches and DeSean Jackson had 7 catches for 104 yards as the P-Funk rolled pimpin’!
Next time tell RGIII to spend a little less time on the theatrics and more time on preparing for battle. All of the hype about being ready to play was good if he had been ready mentally and physically to play. What I mean by that is this; he looked tired all night playboy and the Eagles were in his head. He looked exhausted every time he got up because he wasn’t in game shape. Yeah the knee was ready but the Rhythm Nation Janet Jackson show he put on before the joint started was way over the top.
Vick came out like Mike Tyson with the simple black shorts and shoes and that ole dull towel with the hole in it. No fanfare, with the just give me the ball and let’s bang type attitude. Save all of that for the after-party playa. It’s Monday Night and I’ve got something to prove.
Chip proved to boyz that he could run his mouth all night without showing his lips too. He was like a mad scientist on the sideline calling plays and when the joint was over Dr. Andrews diagnosed him with a sprained upper lip and dislocated tongue. He’s day to day and the team will keep you posted on his health going forward! Boy the Eagles are sure going to be fun to watch this year. Stop me when I start lyin’ playboy!
Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
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The quote under the caption isn’t real but its REAL talk!
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