"Buster Brown"

"Yeah he's yoked up but still gets no respect from REAL Live Cats!"

Every now and then in life you run across a straight up mark, a charge card, plastic, counterfeit, see through, watered down type of cat! You know it within the first 3 minutes of his conversation or sometimes you can see it right when he walks up. It's just something about that dun that makes everybody uneasy. He's the guy that you can't take anywhere. If you're in Vegas and run into him, keep it movin' because he'll bring whatever was supposed to stay in Vegas back to the crib! Dwight Howard is that dude!

He's the new Buster Brown, Pee Wee Herman, Alfalfa, Steve Urkel, both Arnold's: Horseshack & Football Head, Revenge of the Nerd, kick me sign wearing type cat! One of my most famous joints entitled "The Firm" explains to boyz why players don't win titles, organizations do is being played out right before our eyes bruh! When Orlando had the chance last season before the All-Star break to move Humpty Dumpty, they didn't. They listened to this clown hustle them into keeping him after the trade dead line only to start whining to leave again. Then he pushed for Van Gundy's head on a platter like Paul's only to deny that he even asked for it.

Now lets' keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Superstars have been doing this for years bruh! Magic ran Paul Westhead out of LA only to get Pat Riley. So I get it but he was dedicated to staying there to win championships and that he did. He was dedicated to the cause. He didn't push him out of the door only to jump in the ride with him.

So like suckers, the Magic organization fires both Van Gundy and general manager Otis Smith to try to appease this clown. Now he's screaming at the top of his lungs that he wants out of the joint and will only go to Brooklyn! He's been ridin' around Orlando bumpin' that Beastie Boys "No Sleep ''til Brooklyn" all week. From what I know about Brooklyn, fake cats aren't allowed. It's the home of REAL Joe's and ole Dwight won't fit in. I'm just sayin'! It's where of  the late great Notorious B.I.G., Big Daddy Kane, The Beastie Boys, Busta Rhymes (even though he stole the name from the real Buster Rhimes, a former Sooner running back), MC Lyte and the one and only Jay-Z says in their LL. Cool J(Queens) voice, "That's where the crib's at!" Brooklyn's in the house without a doubt! Dwight might get his lunch money and sneakers taken out there! Even though he's yoked up boyz will go right at him because they can smell the mark in his blood. He might need to go to Utah somewhere bruh.

What's crazy to me is that everybody, their momma and great uncle Junior hated LeBron for leaving Cleveland but this dun is getting a pass. What's really going on son? LeBron didn't say a word the entire time that the hype was building around his impending free agency for an entire year and a half. Every media outlet in the world was sitting on the edge of their seats pushing him to give it up. However, my boy handled it like a straight up professional and gave Cleveland everything he had up until the last game, last minute.

He even waited to see what they would do as an organization after the season was over too. But what did they do, fire Mike Brown and let general manager Danny Ferry run out of the door two weeks later. LeBron never said a word. He just packed up the U-Haul in the middle of the night like boyz have to do in the hood when you get new furniture. Ya'll know what I'm talking about! You get a new TV but you can't bring it in the crib until 3am because cats are watchin' you. If you slip up and bring it in during the day you've got problems. Why,  because boyz WILL climb through your window to get it before you even have a chance to watch all of the channels.

He made a "Decision" and bounced like the Grinch that stole Christmas! Straight up G move and all of my REAL cats had to respect it! However, Dwight Howard and the Magic are trying to play strip poker with the league right now. These guys have completely lost it at this point. They're trying to get a trade through between Brooklyn and Orlando but they want a third and fourth team to get in on the foolishness to help them make it happen. That's like coming through my crib and trying to talk me into robbing the liquor store down the street and you're going to keep all of the bread. Why would I help you indulge in something that doesn't benefit me at all?

All I've got to say is that this cat is a mark with a capital M and I would ship him off to the Vancouver Canucks of the NHL if I were Orlando. He would be the mascot for the Minnesota Timberwolves when I finish trading his butt around.  He'd be the highest paid janitor/beer/cotton candy salesman in the league and the tallest. This cat would be juggling rats in the mall in North Dakota wearing ballot shoes and a halter top messing with me. Don't EVER let me hear of ya'll hating on LeBron again after what this cat is doing. Dwight Howard's ghetto pass has been permanently revoked, that's if he ever had one in the first place bruh!

Oh and by the way, all of you LeBron haters out there. You can tell Victor Sweet that the Heat just signed another "out of town shooter" in Rashard Lewis who was a teammate of Ray Allen for five years in Seattle from 2003-2007! These boys are about to be deadly for the next several years bruh! Can you say repeat? I just thought you'd like to hear that while you're still licking your wounds!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Follow me on Twitter:@jaygravesreport