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| "You gone wake up now bruh? I can't do this alone!" |
Dwayne Wade looked like a zombie all night long as the Miami Heat got blasted, carjacked and assaulted in downtown Indianapolis Thurday night by the new bully on the block called the Indiana Pacers 94-75, a bunch of guys from around the way. You know how some local guy gives you directions but you really didn't trust him so you tried to find the joint on your own? Unfortunately for you, you took a wrong turn and ended up in Haughville on the west side.
That's what the Heat did last night when they showed up at Bankers Life Fieldhouse. It should have been cool because the fellas that were in the ride were completely capable of protecting themselves but the only two cats that got out to fight were LeBron James with 22 points and Mario Chalmers who chipped in 25 points. The rest of the team was shell shocked including D. Wade! Ole boy was in a trance from the word go. He was stumbling around like someone had slipped him a mickey before the game. I keep telling these cats to cover your drinks at the bar dawg or always take keep it with you, but they won't listen.
Joel Anthony and Ronny Turiaf made Roy Hibbert look like Kareem in his prime! He finished with 19 points and 18 rebounds. He was killing them in the paint bruh! George Hill gave the Pacers 20 and Granger bought 17 to the table as the Pacers did an excellent job of moving the ball and spreading the floor.
Don't get it twisted, the Pacers came to play and they played what Frank Vogel likes to call "Smash Mouth" basketball. All season he's been saying that he wants to see them play "Our Game" and they definitely did it at the Heat's expense on Thursday night. They were in complete control from the opening tip. The Pacers went on the 7-0 run to start the game and never looked back.
Real talk, if Chalmers doesn't play out of his mind the Heat get blasted by 40 bruh! I mean they were stripping boyz of all jewelry, emptying pockets and dog walking these cats in plain view. More than 20,000 people interviewed say they saw it live but refused to testify. The police knocked on doors all night looking for just one witness to help them make an arrest but came up empty. No one has or will be charged in the assault because the locals warned them that this could happen if you took a wrong turn. However, the arrogance of the driver not listening cost his team a beat down.
It's like the story of the gang members getting lost in the wrong neighborhood and the alpha male driving won't listen to his boyz and refuses to turn around. He keeps driving until the freaking car breaks down and everybody in the ride has on the wrong color! So at this point they're out maned and by the time the police cared about showing up no one can recognize any of them. They're using dental records to identify those found on the scene.
The Heat got mauled and D. Wade slept right through it or should I say disappeared on his partners. I know that the national media will try to blame this one on LeBron too but "Ya Boy" saw it up close and personal bruh. D. Wade was the cat that was talking a 100 worth of noise sitting in the front seat when they pulled into the hood until the ride broke down. As soon as the joint stopped he bailed out and sprinted into the darkness leaving the fella's to fight without him.
The Crazy thing is, when Spoelstra called him out on it he tried to get tough with him on the bench. If you're so bad why are you out there playing like somebody just stole your bike or better yet, like somebody took your girl? He may as well have had on a Pacers jersey and dressed in their locker room bruh. He couldn't hit the broad side of a barn or water if he fell out of a boat. My ole man would always say, "He couldn't hit an elephant in the butt with a bass fiddle!" He committed turnover after turnover, kept stepping out of bounds and just flat out played no defense. I know when they get back to Miami he's gonna have to show his ghetto pass and I don't think too many boyz will approve it at this point. He may have to go back through hood survival training before he gets reinstated bruh!
Now I can't let the "Chosen One" off that easy bruh! If you're the "King" then you've got to start checking boyz for not playing up to par and that includes your boy D. Wade too. Hey, the Black Mamba or Air Jordan would have been all up in cats grills by the end of the 3rd quarter. If boyz couldn't shake it off then those two would have been gunning the rest of the way. If they were going to lose the joint then they were going to go out shooting and LeBron didn't do that!
Props again to Indiana for doing what they've been doing all season long, playing Smash Mouth basketball. I'll even admit, even with Bosh out I thought the Heat had enough talent to still win this series. But after watching that violent assault the Heat are in serious trouble bruh. They may not win another game with cats playing like that. If only two guys are going to show up they may as well just throw in the towel now and let the Pacers chill and wait for possibly Boston. Last night was a Pacers Production brought to you by the makers of Wood Shed Beatings and Blow Out Hair Gel!
Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Follow me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport
You make me laugh out loud. Heat have all the talent, them dudes can't play as a team.
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