"That's A Real One!"




"Hey Magic? I've got some roller skating unicorns you can buy too!"

Sometimes in sports we see things that just makes us shake our heads in amazement. Most of those are because an athlete makes an unbelievable shot or scores a touchdown with style that makes absolutely no sense. Then we see someone do something so unbelievably rediculous that you can’t process it.

Earlier this week Magic Johnson and some of his buddies paid $2.15 billion for the LA Dodgers. What? No you didn’t read that wrong, nor did I make a mistake in reporting it. That’s why I waited several days before I even commented on it. Now I know that a lot of cats will say, “Jay why you hatin’ on Magic! That’s weak bruh!”

To hate is to criticize when there is no legitimate to reason to do so. I know that Magic was desperate to buy a sports franchise however this wasn’t the one to buy, at least not at this time. All he had to do was sit in the cut and wait. Owner Frank McCourt had to get rid of the joint anyway because he was going through bankruptcy. He could have gotten it on the clearance rack if he had just waited. Let’s keep it real or all the way 100! Magic just paid $500 for a bag of penny cookies, Funyuns and a red pop bruh!

Mark Cuban wanted to buy the team too but he pulled out because in his opinion the asking price was way too high. It wasn’t even worth hollering at them about it. If Magic and Co. ended up paying $2.15 billion for the joint just think about what the asking price was bruh! They negotiated down to $2.15 billion! Are you kidding me? All they did was pay for McCourt’s divorce, future alimony payments and as well as all of his outstanding debt and the guy still walked away with a profit.

"Basically, McCourt took a $430-million asset and turned it into a $2.15-billion asset by despoiling it over a period of eight years," said Andrew Zimbalist, an economics professor at Smith College in Massachusetts who has written extensively on the business of baseball.

What were they drinking, smoking, sniffing, injecting, inhaling, and absorbing? They must have been on some of that Jimmy Hendricks head scarf type stuff to sign that deal.

According to Forbes, the Chicago Cubs are valued at $879 million and they’ve got fans that will sale out Wrigley Field every night and they haven’t won a championship since 1908! That was 4 years before they invented the Caddy bruh! Most folks can’t even imagine life without the Cadillac on the road. The Yankees are the best franchise in sports located in the largest media market in the world and it’s only valued at 1.8 billion. Now do you still think I’m hatin’ bruh?

Magic and his boyz pulled a ghetto fabulous move! They went out and bought a Heavy Chevy for $1000 and put $25K worth of rims, TV’s and paint on the joint! They’ll look good rolling through the hood but when they try to sell it they’ll only get $2,500 for it! Like my buddy Lamont Hatcher said, “They keep telling me that Magic is a hellava businessman but the guy that sold him the team is a HELLAVA businessman!


"I say what the heck, go for it!"
Hey when ole boy slid the contract across the table they just knew that Magic was going to reject it in laughter. However, he signed it to their amazement! McCourt looked at his attorney and said, “If this guy will buy this he’ll buy anything.” They started pulling out the old bags of sea monkeys and telling him that in just a few days you’ll see them swimming around in this dirty water. You just gotta stand extremely still on one foot and look closing into the water. If you move slightly you won’t see them at all.

After he bought those joints too, they sold him some beach front property in Nebraska! Magic finally drew the line on Ali Baba’s flying carpets because it was something about Ali’s hat that he didn‘t trust. It’s like when Moe & Larry from The Three Stooges were breaking rocks over Curley’s head and he finally stopped them and said, “Hey that’s a real one! I’m no fool! Yuc, Yuc, Yuc.” So don't call me a hater because I'll  only paid $.75 for 15 penny cookies, Funyuns and red pop! However, in all seriousness I know Magic will do a great job but you know I had to clown him. Thanks for reppin' the brotherhood so well bruh!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Follow me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

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