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| "I'm gone playboy! Holla back!" |
Well playas...since LSU isn't dancin' this spring ole Ben Simmons needs make sense of that change by plungin' into it and movin' on with his life. After gettin' the breaks beat off of them on Saturday by Texas A&M 71-38. The Tigers decided not to play in the NIT after not gettin' selected to play in the NCAA Tournament on Sunday. They lost senior Keith Hornsby when he underwent surgery on last Tuesday and freshman Antonio Blakeney was listed as questionable for the post-season even though he played in the SEC Tournament despite bein' sick.
Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Ben Simmons NEEDS to be sprintin' away from Baton Rouge at this point bruh!! How frustratin' can it be to be the best player in college basketball playin' with a bunch cats and coachin' staff that can't even make the darn NCAA Tournament. And that's the edited version. Think about how bad LSU would have been without Ben Simmons bruh. It would have been a nightmare to watch.
So since they aren't dancin' this week Ben should dip off campus immediately and start preparin' for the draft. He's projected to be the No.1 overall pick and in the worse case scenario he'll be the No.2 pick. Either way there's no need to still be in Baton Rouge fakin' like he's goin' to class.
The entire second semester was pointless for him to go to class even though LSU tried to act like it was. Remember when they tried to discipline the dun for not goin' to class a few weeks ago. They sat him down for 4 and a half minutes to punish him. What kind of Tom Foolery was that?
Then LSU didn't certify him to be eligible to win the John Wooden Player of the Year Award a couple of weeks later.
So let's get this straight playa, the team is trash, they aren't goin' to the NCAA Tournament and he can't win the Player of the Year Award right? And duns want him to do what today? Go to class? Good luck with that.
Ben Simmons should be a missin' person this mornin' in Baton Rouge. His dorm room should have been left in tact with the bed unmade, clothes still in the closet and the TV still on. Go head on playboy and get that money!
In June he's goin' to sign a deal that will pay him $10 million GUARANTEED over the next 3 years. So for all of you simple minded individuals that's means if he gets hurt and he can NEVER play again. They still have to pay him his bread. GUARANTEED!!!!
So by the time he's freakin' 21 years old he would have made more money that 99.999999........% of people in the world for their careers!!! He doesn't need to go to class in order to do that. Even if he never signs another contract again in his life.
Oh, do I need to break it down for you playa? Do you really need some perspective on just how much bread this kid stands to make in 3 years? Aight, since you asked. A pediatrician makes on average $165,000! Specialists like cardiologists, radiologists or orthopedic surgeons make on average $315,000 per year. Now these duns have gone to undergraduate school, medical school and have done 3 to 4 years of residency to make that type of bread! Not to mention they've got $160,000 plus in student loans to repay when they get out.
Let’s say the specialist works until he or she is age 65. That’s 35 years at an average of $315,000 because they don't start gettin' paid until they're at least 30 because they've been in school and trainin' the whole time. They would only make $11.2 million for their CAREERS! I just told you that Ben Simmons is gonna sign a deal that will pay him $10 million in the first 3 years GUARANTEED. He'll be 21 years and would have made almost as much bread as an orthopedic surgeon will make in his lifetime!!! And if he's still playin' at 21 years old he could potentially sign a max deal in the range of $100 million plus over a 5 or 6 year period. And guess what? He'll still only be 27 years old when the second contract expires! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? And he doesn't even have to be that good relatively speakin'. And if he never plays another minute past his 21st birthday he's made $10 million. But you want him to go to class?
Do you realize that the average salary in America is $29,000? The average salary for a person with a college degree is $53,000! Most people aren't goin' to make a million dollars in their entire careers bruh and this cat can make $10 million in his first 3.
Yeah playboy Ben Simmons shouldn't be anywhere near LSU this mornin'! As a matter of fact, he shouldn't have even taken a shower or the darn flight back to campus. Stop me when I start lyin'!
Playas Thesaurus:
1) Spit: verb - to say
2) Dun: noun - the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It's whoever I'm talkin' about and its non-gender specific.
Holla At Ya Boy!
JayGravesReport
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