Suspect (Why these fake media-types keep lyin' to boyz about the SEC and the Top 25)

"See what  had happened was..."

As I was choppin’ it up with the fellas watchin’ the games on Saturday afternoon these three cats interrupted us outta nowhere arguin’ about boyz committin’ fraud. Jean-Luc Godard, the French-Swiss film director, said, “Cinema is the most beautiful fraud in the world.” Alan Greenspan, the former Chairman of the Federal Reserve, stood up, slammed the dominoes down on the table and said, “Corruption, embezzlement, fraud, these are all characteristics which exist everywhere. It is regrettably the way human nature functions, whether we like it or not. What successful economies do is keep it to a minimum. No one has ever eliminated any of that stuff.” Then David Chang, the famous restauranteur and author, shut the buildin’ down when he spit, “I constantly think I’m a fraud – that this success is not warranted or justified.”

Well playas…that’s what I’ve been tryin’ to tell you duns about Auburn all summer! All of these fake media-type cats have been hollerin’ and screamin’ about Auburn bein’ so good this year without even seein’ these cats play a single down! Then they ran out here on Saturday and wet the freakin’ bed at the crib against freakin’ Jacksonville State and barely got outta there alive! They had to go to overtime to beat these fools 27-20! Did I mention that Jacksonville State was an FCS team? For all of you simple minded individuals that’s Division 1-AA!

Let’s keep it real or all the way, whichever comes 1^st! Auburn was 8-5 last year and lost Nick Marshall to either graduation or eligibility or both! Either way that dun wasn’t suitin’ up in 2015! Then these fools had the nerve to have them ranked as high as No.6 in the freakin’ country with a brand new quarterback that NOBODY’S ever seen do anything but play mop up duty and play freakin’ spring ball! Yeah, he played in a couple games last year but he wasn’t the man! Otherwise, Nick Marshall wouldn’t have been startin’ the past two seasons!

Let me put it where the goats can get it playa. I’m gettin’ sick and tired of bein’ sick and tired of these fake “A” media-types swingin’ on the SEC’s jocks because a team just happens to be in the SEC! When I pulled up the AP Top 25 last week there were 10 SEC teams on the freakin’ list and half of those duns had absolutely no justification for bein’ on the list startin’ with Auburn! 

Will somebody please explain to me how Jeremy Johnson can look like a train wreck against unranked Louisville in Week 1 throwin’ 3 dull picks and they were still the No.6 team in America in Week 2?

Then he shows up Saturday against some cats from the Pop Warner League and throws two more! But you wanna convince me that the freakin’ SEC is better from top to bottom than everybody else!

You’re smokin’ crack bruh! Like I've been sayin’ for years, the SEC is top heavy! Here's my SEC apologist talkin' without doin' any research. "What are you talkin' about Jay? The SEC won 7 straight BCS National Titles! You sound crazy!" You're right you idiot! But the entire conference didn't win jack squat! There were 4 schools that won titles not 14! Alabama won 3, Florida picked up 2, LSU won 1 and the Auburn Cam Newton's won 1! The rest of you clowns can't eat off of their plates! This ain't Shoney's! That's like freakin' Indiana and Purdue tryin' to jump in the ride with Ohio State now to claim credit for last year's title! Naw bruh...Ohio State won the national title not the Big Ten!

Traditionally, duns like Alabama, LSU and Florida have been beasts! But Florida is walkin’ hot garbage right now and Auburn was only a monster when they were the Cam Newton’s! Then Nick Marshall and Co. took care of business for a couple of years and made the program reputable! Now they’re back to bein’ Auburn again!!! The same Auburn that went from 1957 to 2010 without winnin’ a national title! That Auburn! Stop it! You sound crazy!

If you’re tryin’ to convince me that the duns I just saw gettin’ beat up in the girls restroom on the 3^rd floor at Jordan Hare Stadium is worthy of bein’ the No.6 team in the country you need to take that needle out of your arm bruh, put the blunt down, wipe your nose and back away from the table slowly!

And will somebody please tell me how Arkansas got to be ranked No.18 in Week 2 and then they got carjacked at the crib by freakin’ Toledo from the darn MAC? I’m tryin’ to keep from cursin’ right now playa. In my Victor Sweet voice to Brent Bielema, “Go sit at the little kid’s table and close you darn mouth!” And that’s the edited version pimpin’. All last week that dun was playa hatin’ Ohio State’s schedule talkin’ about how weak it was and how the SEC plays better competition etc. Then this cat goes out and has diarrhea all over the field against the Toledo freakin’ Rockets!

"Get off me bruh! You knew y'all was suspect comin' in!"

Hold up bruh… how on earth did Tennessee crack the Top 25 to get a No.23 ranking when they gave up 430 yards in the air to Bowling Green in Week 1? Then goes out and throws up in Big Momma’s purse and on her patent leather shoes against Oklahoma! They were up 17-3 in the fourth quarter with 100 thousand fans goin’ NUTS and loses 31-24 in overtime. Wheredeydodatat?

Why is Mizzou No.21? Why? Please tell me that bruh? They barely beat Arkansas State and was gettin’ blasted in the first half against these boyz. I didn’t say Arkansas playa! I said Arkansas State!!! The darn Hornets!! And that’s the edited version again.

Its mind blowin’ how these fake media-types will just tell duns anything and boyz out here will believe it. Cats like Mississippi State, Mizzou, Auburn, Tennessee, Arkansas and Auburn shouldn’t have even been ranked in the first place playa. And Auburn is gonna mess around and still be in the Top 15 this week because these fools that don’t know jack squat about this game will say that they should be so they will be. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus:
1) Spit: verb – to say
2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.
3) Put it where the goats can get it: to break it down in its simplest terms bruh. To put in on the ground so that it’s easy to get to.
4) Victor Sweet: noun – the drug dealer in the movie “Four Brothers” that made the city councilman sit at the little kid’s table until he finished playin’ cards.
5) Pimpin’: noun – the person that I’m passionately tryin’ to get my point across to.
6) Wheredeydodatat: Hood for, “Who does that?”
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The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!