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| "I don't need a man! I can do this all by myself!" |
J.C. Penny once said, "The five separate fingers are five independent units. Close them and the fist multiplies strength. This is organization." Dido Armstrong, the famous book publisher, gave it to us like this, "I like being a strong, independent woman, and to be honest, I was never afraid to be on my own." Then Daine von Furstenburg, the famous fashion designer, stood up and shouted, "I wanted to be an independent woman, a woman who could pay for her bills, a woman who could run her own life - and I became that woman."
“I don’t need a man!” It’s the independent ladies anthem. The shot heard around the world. “I can make it on my own”. That may well be true financially and sounds great. However, in theory it’s a bit out of touch babygirl. You see, havin' or wantin' a man should have absolutely nothin' to do with how much money you make. Nor should the degree, degrees or job you possess make a difference.
I pose this question regularly to women that repeatedly say that. Why do you have to NEED a man to WANT a husband? After all, we’re human beings and we all long for companionship. That’s the way God made us. Is it so wrong to want to spend your life with someone that truly loves you regardless of his income? I applaud you for gettin' this money out here and makin' power moves in Corporate America etc. You’re goin' to college at an alarmin' rate, makin' money like never before… believe me babygirl, I find that to be very sexy. The problem is, along with your success you’ve lost a since of reality.
Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! When you say “I don’t need a man, I’ve got my own car, home and job” that sounds impressive… initially. However, it really sounds like the brother that says “I take care of my kids.” You don’t get credit for that. If you’re a grown woman, you’re supposed to have your own car, home and job. That’s no accomplishment. A man that’s lookin' for a wife is lookin' for an asset not a liability. Those are the mandatory minimums playa. Real cats are lookin' for women they don’t have to take care of financially. We just don’t want the attitude that comes with it. Regardless of a man’s financial situation, he has an ego and it’s not goin' anywhere. You can choose to either stroke it or bruise it. So as long as you keep tellin' men that you don’t need them. You won’t have one. It’s as simple as that. Brothers won’t stay where they are perceived not to be needed and sister’s, it has nothin' to do with money.
Companionship is a need all to itself. Life is so much better when you can spend it with someone that simply loves and respects you. Last I checked money can’t buy that. Nowhere in the bible does it say that companionship is based on your level of success. So stop runnin' these brother’s off because you can’t keep it real. You don’t make any more money than anybody livin' in your neighborhood. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be in that neighborhood. You don’t have anymore paper than the people that you’re meetin' at First Friday's etc. Otherwise, you’d be at different level of social event. The truth is…that if you’re not careful you’ll end up in the make believe world of the “Cougar.” It sounds great! However, in a man’s world you’ve been reduced to a “Science Project.”
Let me put it where the goats can get it. When you’re 25, independent and fine sayin', “I don’t need a man”, it sounds rather vogue. That’s because you still have a crew of girls fresh out of college or graduate school to run with. You guys meet after work for drinks at happy hour etc. Sit around and tell the stories of how much guys are intimidated by your success… at the same time singin' the “Independent” anthem. Then gradually your girlfriends that get it, start to marry off. You become annoyed because you don’t have a crew to travel or club with anymore. Primarily because they’ve all started families and they’re now obligated to PTA, soccer and oh yeah, they’ve got husbands to kick it with now.
Then over time you look up and you’re 40… still fine with a bigger house, car and job. All of the single brothers your age are no longer interested because new models are comin' off of the assembly line yearly… young girls fresh out of college with great toned bodies. Yours… well let’s say that it’s been around the block a few too many times. You’ve been able to control every aspect of your life. However, there’s one thing that your level of success and independence couldn’t get you… a husband. Listen to me closely sistas; you can’t get married unless he asks you. That’s the way it works babygirl. The word of God says, “A man that FINDS a wife, FINDS a good thing”, not the other way around.
So now you begin to fool yourself into believin' that datin' younger men is the answer. “Stella got her Groove Back” got you excited. However, in a man’s world you’ve become a “Science Project”. You wanted the control and power now you’ve got it. This young boy will let you take him to the finest restaurants and hotels all over the world. He’ll even allow you to dress him. Why not, you’re pickin' up the tab? He’ll let you teach him everything you know sexually. Let’s face it, you are 40 and you’re way more experienced than he is. He’s havin' the time of his life… for free. Then after a while he decides that it’s time to get married and start a family. The problem is, he wants a woman more his age and many times even younger. Thanks, because you’ve shown him all of the spots to take his new wife, taught him how to dress… and oh yeah you’ve shown him how to please his wife in the bed too. Class Dismissed!
Most of you Independent ladies are simply pissed right now and the only thing you can say is learn how to write by puttin' the G's on ends of your words. Well babygirl, I'm so much of a G that there aren't anymore left to use but stop me when I start lyin'!
Playas Thesaurus:
1) A Boy: noun - it's anybody I'm talkin' about bruh. It's non- gender specific so that would include women too.
2) Let me put it where the goats can get it: To break it down to the bare bones for you. To put it on the ground so that you can understand what I'm really tryin' to tell you.
3) G: noun - short for gangsta but it's typically used for the person that shares wisdom to the young hustlas in the streets. To say something like a "G" is to be straight up direct with no hesitation. Givin' boyz the real.
Holla At Ya Boy!
JayGravesReport
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The quote under the caption isn't real but its REAL talk!
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