Heavy Chevy (Why police had a 1 day pass to whoop Sheldon Richardson's butt)

"Man I'm not really as dumb as I look bruh! I'm serious!"

As I was standin’ out in front of the neighborhood brown bag shootin’ dice with the fellas these three cats started debatin’ stupidity in the hood. Oscar Wilde, the famous Irish author, said, while leanin’ on the old school Deuce and a Quarter, “If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be bad, it doesn’t. Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism.” Robert Heinlein, the science fiction writer, pulled up in the ’74 Fleetwood with gangsta white walls and said, “Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.” Then Pope John Paul II jumped out of a Big Body Chevy bumpin’ Too Short's, “The Ghetto” and said, “Stupidity is also a gift of God, but one mustn’t misuse it.”

Well playas...Sheldon Richardson of the New York Jets is misusin’ the hell out of his gifts bruh! As a matter of fact, he’s worn them down to the bone. Just two weeks after gettin’ suspended by the NFL for four weeks on a marijuana violation this dun gets into even more foolishness!! He gets into his 2014 Bentley and is racin’ his boy at speeds of up to 143mph in his hometown of St. Louis. Then he tries to run from the police! Once they catch up to this fool he’s got weed, a fully loaded semiautomatic weapon in the ride and a freakin’ 12 year old kid sittin’ in the back seat!! Bruh… he’s worn the gift down to the nub!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! I need boyz to call Reverend Al, Jessie Jackson, John Lewis, Roland S. Martin and everybody else that’s on the front line fightin’ the injustice. Then swing by the cemetery and roll over Martin Luther King, Jr., Malcolm X, Huey P. Newton and all the rest of the cats that died in the movement for civil rights in this country so they don’t have to see or hear me say this. “I don’t care what color the cops were that pulled that dun over! Whoop his butt!!” And that’s the edited version!

I mean beat his tail like Big Momma used to do bruh! What did she used to say? “I ain’t whoopin’ nothin’ that I paid for! So take all of your clothes off and bend yo “A” over!” As a matter of fact, I need every dun with a body-cam to get in line and turn it to HD and even 3D if you got it and take turns kickin’ him square in his anus! I’m givin’ everybody with a whistle and a billy club permission to use excessive force for the next 24 hours on this fool. Then we’ll get back to protestin’ these crooked cops tomorrow. But TODAY whoop his butt!!!!

Let’s break this foolishness down playa. Not only was he drivin’ 143mph in a Bentley but he was smokin’ some old school herb and carryin’ a gun with somebody’s kid in the ride! Then he pulled the ultimate idiot move which is the reason I’m givin’ boyz permission to whoop his butt. HE TRIED TO HIDE IN A STRANGER'S DRIVEWAY IN A FREAKIN’ BENTLEY!

He may as well have landed a freakin’ space ship in the duns front yard with aliens fist fightin’ on the roof wearin’ Timberlands and mini-skirts bumpin’ “F the Police” by NWA and "L7 Square" by Rick James bruh! You can’t pull into a boy'z driveway in a Rolls Royce and think that the police are gonna just drive on past like it’s a normal. It’s a FREAKIN’ BENTLEY for cryin’ out loud! Now which one of these things don’t belong? A darn 2^nd grader could have found him pullin’ that stunt.

It’s not like he dipped off into the projects in a Heavy Chevy! Everybody in the hood is drivin’ that car or some variation of it! He could have pulled up in front of Old Lady Johnson’s apartment where they’re sellin’ all of the dope and blended right on in drivin’ a Chevy. Even if he was in suburban St. Louis and he was in a Volvo or Smart Car or something. But this fool thought he could hide in a Bentley! Wheredeydodatat?

"Come here ya young punk!"

Can you imagine if Ole Otis was the cat that arrested him? “What ya say deir boi? You tryin’ to run from Ole Otis deir boi? What’s that I smell deir boi? You like a little weed deir boi? So ya say ya like to get high deir boi? Oh you gotta gun huh? Whose kid is this in the back seat catchin’ a contact deir boi? Get out the car and take ya dilly dally off! Bend over deir boi cuz I already called Big Momma and she’s on her way! Oh yeah! I need you to strip butt naked cuz she ain’t whoopin’ nothin’ she bought! Here what I say deir boi? And stop me when I start lyin’ deir boi! 

Playas Thesaurus:   1) Brown Bag: noun – hood fast food joint where a boy can get anything from burgers to BBQ, seafood or soul food but it’s all gonna come in a brown bag playa.
2) Deuce and a Quarter: noun – the old school Buick Electra 225
3) Gangsta White Walls: noun – tires that had the entire wall painted white not the thin wall that you normally saw.
4) Big Body Chevy: noun – the Chevy Caprice from about 1985 to 90
5) Too Short: noun – rapper from Oakland that had a hit called “The Ghetto” released in 1990
6) Dun : noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about.
7) Wheredeydodatat?: Hood for, “Who does that?”8) Dilly Dally: noun - in Ole Otis terms it's a hat bruh.
Holla At Ya Boy!
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