Feinin' (Finals Preview: How LeBron and the Cavs are about to shock the world)

 

"We got that Blue Magic for all you duns feinin' right now!"

As I’m sittin’ at the light this mornin’ in Oakland bumpin’ some of that Too Short, “Born To Mack,” I see these three old timers on the corner arguin’! They’re talkin’ about boyz bein’ able to go to battle. Ulysses S. Grant said, “In every battle there comes a time when both sides consider themselves beaten, then he who continues the attack wins. Harry S. Truman spit this without even takin’ his square out of his mouth, “Carry the battle to them. Don’t let them bring it to you. Put them on the defensive and don’t ever apologize for anything. Then George S. Patton poured out a lil’ liquor for all the dead homies when he said, “The time to take counsel of your fears is before you make an important decision. That’s the time to listen to every fear you can imagine! When you have collected all the facts and fear and made your decision, turn off all your fears and go ahead.”

Well playas…it’s time for both Cleveland and Golden State to turn off all their fears and go ahead! The Finals are finally here pimpin’ and boyz have been feinin’ like Ray Charles scratchin’ his arm to see some basketball. Both teams are in the town, the network is in place, the groupies are posted up in the lobby of the Cavs hotel and those that couldn’t get in are standin’ out in front of the joint. Now it’s time to ball out or go home.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! Cleveland comes into this joint as a huge underdog and rightfully so. Golden State has been the best team in the league all year and the MVP is playin’ his best basketball. Why not because he sure isn’t parentin’! They are as deep as Malcolm X and can shoot like the American Sniper! You’d be crazy to pull up in the ride with Cleveland lookin’ at this thing on paper.

After all, the Cavs are showin’ up with LeBron and the Cosby Kids. He’s literally drug these cats to the Finals without both Kyrie and Kevin Love. Ole boy has taken a bunch of cats that NOBODY wanted and is probably playin’ the best TEAM basketball of these two teams right now with as much depth as a kiddie pool.

Think about this bruh, he’s taken two duns that New York gave away for a pack of Now & Laters, an Orange Cush soda and some frosted penny cookies and turned them into playoff beasts! Shumpert is D-ing boyz up like nobody’s business and J.R. Smith is playin’ within the confines of the TEAM concept. Wheredeydodatat?

The X-factor in this series will be Cleveland’s bigs. Triston Thompson and Timofey Mozgov create a problem for Golden State. They are a jump shootin’ team that everything, I’m mean EVERYTHING goes through Steph Curry. Memphis had the formula early on in their series against then but they went away from it. Gasol and Z-Bo were killin’ them in the blocks but all of a sudden they retreated from that game plan and Conley and Tony Allen weren’t long enough to contest the shots of the Splash Brothers the entire series. In Games 2 and 3 they held Steph and Klay to 9 of 30 from downtown as Memphis’ bigs went to work on them but they got brain sucked and tried to out shoot them and died in an Oakland alley.

If the Cavs’ bigs can establish themselves early they’ve got a shot at shockin’ the world. We already know that even though LeBron naturally plays the 3 he’ll rotate on and off of Steph as often as he needs to with duns like Shumpert because they are long enough and athletic enough to stay with him. They won’t keep him from gettin’ shots off because he is Steph.

However, their length at 6’8” and 6’7” respectively will cause a dun that is only 6’3” some problems. Now he’s the best ball handler in the league so he’s gonna get open looks because he can create his own boy.

LeBron is LeBron! He’s gonna get whatever he wants out there bruh. Especially, when he gets a one-on-one match up with anybody on the floor. We’ve seen ole boy grow up durin’ this playoff run. He’s takin’ boyz to the rack at will and is postin’ cats up like the groupies hangin’ out at the Cavs hotel. Even if they can’t get to the players they’ll holler at anybody comin’ in and out of the joint on GP.

LeBron will get his buckets. Draymond Green draws the defensive assignment of holdin’ this dun and he’s gonna look real average by the end of every night. He’s not Kawhi bruh! He’s an average player that’s havin’ a great playoff run. Now he’s about to look average again playa. The King sometimes has a tendency of doin’ that to a boy.

So again, the difference in this series will be Triston Thompson and Timofey Mosgov! Because Andrew Bogut is Andrew Bogut and Draymond is about to look average I’m goin’ with the Cavs to shock the world in 6 with the Cosby Kids and all. This will be the playoff run that sets in motion by all of the experts that LeBron may well be the greatest All-Around player we’ve ever seen. I’ve been tellin’ you boyz that for a few years now but the cats that you think know more than I do will start to say the same thing. I’m cool with that but make sure you tell ‘em that Jay Graves said it first! Now stop me when I start lyin’ and let's get it crackin'!

Playas Thesaurus:
1) Spit: verb – to say
2) Square: noun – cigarette
3) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, girl, etc. This term is non-gender specific.
4) Wheredeydodatat?: Hood for, “Who does that?”
5) Brain Sucked: verb phrase – to let a boy talk you out of what you know you should be doin’. In other words, peer pressure.
6) Ole boy: noun – the person that I’m talkin’ about at the time. Follow the context clues playa and try to keep up bruh.
7) GP: General purposes –just because
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The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!