Probably (Why the NFL would have been better off payin' Crack-head Jeff to investigate Deflategate)

"What? Oh this should be easy to figure out playa!"

E.W. Howe, the 19^th century novelist and newspaper and magazine editor, once said, “Half the time men think they are talking business, they are wasting time.” Dean Kamen, the famous inventor, gave it to us like this, “I do not want to waste any time. And if you are not working on important things, you are wasting time.” Then Benjamin Franklin broke a boy off with, “If time be of all things the most precious, wasting time must be the greatest prodigality.” Now for all of you simple minded individuals, prodigality means wasteful extravagance of spendin’ or lavish abundance. Keep up with me playa you’re slowin’ me down.

Well playboy…the freakin’ NFL has again wasted its time payin’ a dun to tell us what we already knew. Ted Wells comes up with a report on Deflategate full of probably’s. Ole boy turns in a 243-page report on whether the New England Patriots were guilty of deflatin’ balls durin’ the AFC Championship Game verses the Indianapolis Colts and all that dun could give us was they probably did it.

This cat literally says in the report, “It is more probable than not that New England Patriots personnel participated in violations of the Playing Rules and were involved in a deliberate effort to circumvent the rules.” He goes on to say, “Based on the evidence, it is also our view that it is more probable than not that Tom Brady was at least generally aware of the inappropriate activities of the duns that were probably guilty.” Now that was my version of the last six words or so bruh. But you get the point because I wasn’t gonna call out some locker room cats that got thrown under the bus by some millionaires and a freakin’ billionaire.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! Now these boyz went out and paid an attorney “real” money to come back with a report that said that a boy probably did something. They’ve spent the past 4 months investigatin’ the New England Patriots and all they could tell Roger Goodell is that New England probably knew about it. Deaf and blind 146 year old Miss Lucy down the street probably knew about it bruh!

They could have paid Crack-head Jeff $10 to tell them that! They didn’t need to pay a boy real money to act like they were really doin’ an investigation. You could have given Jeff Aunt Lu-Lu’s VCR and lawn mower and got the same result. On some real talk, Jeff would have washed your car too.

Don’t tell me that you paid some fool to tell you that they probably did it. That doesn’t satisfy the requirement of actually doin’ an investigation. Now you’re playin’ with people’s intelligence. That’s like tellin’ a boy that the Klan was probably responsible for the death of the three civil rights workers murdered in Mississippi in the summer of 1964. Really bruh? Or some dun tellin’ me that the fat kid standin’ next to the birthday cake with icin’ on his shirt probably ate the missin’ piece of cake. Don’t waste a boy’z time and money with this foolishness.

The NFL and Roger Goodell should have beaten the brakes off of that fool for even comin’ in there with that foolishness. “They probably did it.” We know that bruh that’s why we paid you to figure it out! If Goodell was a real O.G. from where I’m from he would have said, “I’m probably not gonna pay your dumb butt! How bout that?” And that’s the edited version!

What pisses me off about Goodell and these duns in the NFL is that they’ve got so much of a lock on the American sports audience that they can just tell a boy anything and he’ll be cool with it. Either they did it or not playa! Don’t run in here with a probably because it was evident that they probably did it when I called you. Tom Brady's legacy isn't tarnished not one bit with a probably playboy! But I guess that was the hole freakin' point huh?

No way will he get disciplined on a probably! How stupid would it sound tellin' a boy that he's gettin' 3 to 5 years in prison for "probably" breakin' into the liquor store down the street. As long as Brady doesn't fold like a tent and say he did it, he's good bruh.

That VCR and lawn mower looks even better today when you look at the bread you threw away! Next time just call ole Jeff and he’ll even break in the dun’s house you’re beefin’ with. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Oh and for all you duns that wanted me to recap the Bulls Cavs joint! LeBron went to work and took them boyz to school and Derrick Rose looked a hot mess! He's digressin' and is just goin' to the rack throwin' junk up just to say he took a shot. He's done playboy and don't try to argue with me about it. Just watch him play without the ball. He's a mental wreck at this point. He was a freakin' liablity in the Bucks series. Is that recap enough for you playa?

Playas Thesaurus:
1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc.
2) Ole boy: noun – the cat I’m talkin’ to bruh. Keep up playa.
3) Beefin’: verb – arguin’ or to have serious conflict with another person
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The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!