Kilo (Why the Cowboys are smart for not wantin' to pay Dez Bryant guaranteed bread)

"Man y'all trippin'!"

Thomas Jefferson pulled up in the old school shorty back Caddy with the windows cracked at eye brow and said, “A coward is much more exposed to quarrels than a man of spirit.” Pubililius Syrus, the ancient Latin writer, jumped out of the rag top Deuce and a Quarter and shouted, “One is not exposed to danger who, even when in safety is always on their guard.” Then the homie Werner Heisenberg, the German physicist, got out of the big body Chevy with the brains blown out and said, “What we observe is not nature itself, but nature exposed to our method of questioning.”

Well playboy…it’s looks like ole Dez Bryant’s nature is bein’ exposed by these dull playa hatin’ media types just when he’s tryin’ to get his money. More specifically, it was the ultimate hater himself, Mike Florio, of Pro Football Talk when he just happened to mention last week in a room full of reporters at the combine that there was rumored to be a video of Dez doin’ somethin’ that he shouldn’t have done from 2011.

Now supposedly, ole boy’s girlfriend got drug out of a Benz registered to him in a Walmart parkin’ lot. The Wal-mart Old Otis says that the ride was left with the driver side door open and a kid’s toy on the ground. Then two cats pull up in an Escalade registered to Dez as well. Just as the police get there a Bentley pulls up with the dun that was supposedly drug out of the ride and Dez himself.

Now old girl tells the police that it wasn’t Dez but some other cat. The dull policeman believes all of this foolishness and lets everybody go. Now boyz are huntin’ for a video of this foolishness when you already know that it’s gonna show up when the fool with the most bread puts it on the table.

Now let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! Let’s deal with this foolishness first bruh! Anybody that believes that lie, stand on your head and spin around 150 times. If Dez’s girlfriend is gettin’ drug out of “HIS” car anywhere bruh, she was gettin’ drug by him. I don’t know where y’all from but Hood 101 says, “The kept can only be abused by the dun doin’ the keepin’!” Money is power playboy and NOBODY is puttin' hands on the most powerful cat in the room's girl. Secondly, if two boyz pull up pushin’ a whip owned by the keeper then the keeper or the kept called them pick up the ride. If the keeper and the kept pull up to the incident shortly thereafter, they were only makin’ sure that the two flunkies that they called were followin’ directions. 

However, the police just happened to be there. We don’t need to see a video tape to know what went down playa. Anybody with at least 10 years of hood experience knows what happened just by listenin’ to the details pimpin’.

Now for all of you duns that are upset, includin’ Stephen A. Smith, about the timin’ of it all comin’ out just when ole boy is tryin’ to get paid. I’ve got one question for you playa, “Where YOU from?” Did you think for one minute that the Cowboys were gonna just hand over ridiculous amounts of bread to a cat that has been out of control since he walked into the league? C’mon bruh! You’re smarter than that. And you already know Jerry Jones is!

This is the same dun that beat up his own momma! Do I need to say anything else? Really? OK, I will!!! This is the same cat that the Cowboys had to assign a dun to him to make sure that he stayed out of trouble a couple of years ago. Don’t act like you don’t remember this foolishness. So my point here is this, now that it’s time to get paid there are two parties tryin’ to get what they want. Dez wants as much bread as he can get and the Cowboys want to pay him the least that they have to. It’s the American way playboy.

Now Dez, Stephen A. and the rest of these clowns biddin’ for him to get paid is askin’ the ultimate Smokey question, “Why you keep bringin’ up old ish?” And I’m gonna give you the ultimate Big Momma response, “If you weren’t actin’ a fool in the first place they wouldn’t have anything to bring up!”

Get off of the conspiracy theory that the Cowboys leaked it to keep from payin’ that dun. It’s not a theory playboy it’s a fact! And whose fault is it that the freakin’ information is out there? Do you think for one minute that Barack Obama would have gotten into the White House if he was beatin’ up his momma and draggin’ broads across the parkin’ lot? Because you know they were diggin’ for any and everything that dun has ever done durin’ both elections.

Now all of a sudden boyz want to defend Dez Bryant on gettin’ his money. Y’all should have been tellin’ him to pipe down when he was actin’ a fool because the bread conversation was bound to come up. Now he wants Megatron-type money. Is he worth it from a position market value standpoint bein’ paid that type of bread? Sure he is. However, from a behavioral standpoint do you give that dun Megatron-type money? Not unless you’re into flushin’ bread down the toilet.

The Cowboys have already offered him a 10 year deal worth $114 million with only $20 in guaranteed money. Megatron got $48 and a ½ million in guaranteed bread.

However, Megatron isn’t out here beatin’ up his momma and draggin’ broads through the parkin’ lot at Wal-mart. The Cowboys already know that if they give that dun $48 million or anything close to that and he gets caught up on some foolishness like Ed Hardy or Adrian Peterson. The league will put him on the dull Commissioner’s Exempt list and they’ll still have to pay this fool. Now, if it were your money would you pay him?

Stop with all of this nonsense about why he needs to get paid and put yourself in the Cowboys seat as a business and ask yourself if you were the GM or owner would you pay him? At the end of the day it’s a business not just a game and I wouldn’t pay an employee boat loads of guaranteed money that has the propensity to do something crazy.

Let me put it where the goats can get it for all of my street level cats. If you’re pushin’ weight out here and you ran into a young cat that is more talented than all of the duns you’ve got workin’ for you. But he has a tendency to get in trouble more than everybody else that’s grindin’ for you. Would you let him hold a kilo? Because you know for a fact that he can move it. But if he gets popped, your kilo is gone too. So what do you do? Give it to him in pieces. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus:
1) Shorty Back Caddy: noun: 1980 Cadillac Seville
2) Rag Top: noun: cloth roof of a car, more prevalent in the 1970’s and ‘80’s
3) Deuce and a Quarter: noun – Buick Electra 225 typically models dating from 1959 to 1976
4) Big Body Chevy: noun – old school Chevy Caprice from 1978 to 1985
5) Ole Boy: noun – person that we’re talkin’ about
6) Old Otis: noun – old timer workin’ as a security guard complete with his pants pulled up to his nipples and a fluddin’ carryin’ a flashlight.
7) Smokey: noun – ole boy Chris Tucker in the movie Friday with Ice Cube
8) Ride: noun – car
9) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy etc.
10) Ole Girl: noun – the woman in question, chick etc.
11) Dull: adjective – pitiful, you say this when you have to shake your head to say their name or when you’re talkin’ about them
12) Bread: noun – money, scrilla, scratch, etc.
13) Pushin’ a whip: verb – drivin’ a car
14) Pimpin’: noun – the person that I’m passionately tryin’ to get my point across to.
15) Megatron: noun – Calvin Johnson, wide receiver for the Detroit Lions16) Brains Blown Out: noun - sunroof on a car.17)Pushin' weight: verb- sell in' dope18) Popped: verb - to get arrested Holla At Ya Boy!
JayGravesReport
#thebestdressedmaninmedia
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport
Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheJayGravesReport
Instagram: JayGravesReport
The caption under the photo isn't real but its REAL talk!