The Mask (The REAL reason Kevin Durant lied to USA Basketball right to their faces)

"I gotta go to the store for Big Momma."

Mark Twain once said, “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” Buddha jumped out of the whip and said, “There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting.” Then the big homie Oscar Wilde got everybody’s attention with, “Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.”

Well playboy, it looks like ole Kevin Durant left his mask at the crib when he stepped to Jerry Colangelo and Coach K on Thursday to tell them that he was withdrawin’ from Team USA. Ole boy is citin’ “physical and mental fatigue.”

Here’s what he told them bruh,”This was an extremely difficult decision as I take great pride in representing our country. I know that I owe it to my teammates to be totally invested in the experience. After going through training camp with USAB, I realized I could not fulfill my responsibilities to the team from both a time and energy standpoint. He goes on to say, “I need to take a step back and take some time away, both mentally and physically in order to prepare for the upcoming NBA season. I will be rooting for USAB and look forward to future opportunities with them.”

Now everybody that believes that line of manure stand on your head and spin around butt naked 100 times. Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! Ole boy saw the Boogie Man in a thong last Friday and couldn’t go back to sleep. He saw Paul George’s career go up in flames wearin’ gasoline draws with a pack of firecrackers in his back pocket and lighter fluid in his hand.

C’mon playboy! You don’t have to lie to a boy, just keep it real! Put the mask on and say what you really wanted to say playa. Let me help you with that bruh. Here put that joint on good and tight and here we go, “This ain’t a hard decision at all playa! After watchin’ that dun PG break his freakin’ leg out there goofin’ around for free last Friday makin’ everybody else bread includin’ the both of you (Colangelo and Coach K); Ima pull a Snoop Dogg real quick and back up off of it and sit my cup down. I’m the freakin’ MVP of the league and I’m not about to put my career in jeopardy foolin’ around wit you cats! Naw playa, not today! Not now! Not while the Boogie Man is still in my head! I’ll holla! But I’ll be watchin’ you clowns on TV though. Good luck wit that!”

Now all of the rest of those duns are tryin’ to come up with an excuse to roll out without lookin’ obvious. Here’s the deal playa, it’s obvious that you would be a complete fool to keep playin’ around with Colangelo and Coach K at this point. Only a sucka would stay out there that has absolutely nothin’ to prove. That’s means anybody with an NBA contract needs to go sit his butt down somewhere.

So whatever you come up with outside of, “Man PG’s injury made it real to me coach and I’m not gonna take that chance so I’m out” is gonna be a lie. Don’t waste your time tellin’ a boy that Big Momma got sick down in Georgia or my baby is playin’ soccer and I wanna be there for her or my wife wants me to spend more time at the crib etc. Just put the freakin’ mask on and say what’s real.

You’ve got bread and you don’t need to make anybody else bread unless they’re payin’ you your goin’ rate! Period! If USAB ain’t givin’ up the coin then they need to go to the Rucker and get the cats that didn’t go to class, didn’t handle their business and didn’t listen to Big Momma growin’ up with all of that talent. They can run down to the D-league and holler at boyz too. As a matter of fact, go get duns like Half Man Half Amazing, Bone Collector, Skip 2 My Lou and The Professor. They don’t have much goin’ on right now. You can pay them with fame and free food but not a boy with a career to think about.

I’d love to be at USA Basketball today to see the line of cats walkin’ in with masks on tellin’ ole Jerry and Coach K to kick rocks. If Derrick Rose isn’t standin’ outside waitin’ for them to open like the DMV on a Saturday mornin’ he’s outta his freakin’ mind. That cat is comin’ off of two knee surgeries? In my Ochocinco voice, “Child Please!”

Every time KD laid down over the past week the Boogie Man pulled the covers off of him, started twerkin’ and slapped the mess out of him. And that’s the edited version! The Great Gazoo has been sittin’ on D. Rose’s shoulder all week sayin’ the same thing to him, “Are you sure you wanna do this dumb dumb?

By the end of next week they’ll be holdin’ tryouts like American Idol tryin’ to get boyz to hoop and if they aren’t, the cats that are still out there playin’ are suckas. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
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The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!