The Absolute (Why so many Kobe fans are just as delusional as he & the Lakers are.)

"Ain't nothing a little Calamine Lotion can't fix bruh! I'll be good as new!"

When I arrived in LA, the first joint I hit was Roscoe’s Chicken & Waffles. As I was walking into the joint I couldn’t help but hear these homeless cats talking about reality. Soren Kierkegaard, the Danish philosopher, said, “Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.” Friedrich Nietzsche, the German philosopher and poet, took his shoes off, got comfortable and said, “Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.” Then the Dalai Lama pushed his cart over and said, “Appearance is something absolute, but reality is not that way – everything is interdependent, not absolute.”

Those duns must have been talking about the Black Mamba because on Thursday the Lakers announced that he would be out for 6 weeks due to a fracture in the lateral tibial plateau in his left knee. For y’all that’s checkin’, that the same leg that the Achilles tear was in. I hate that for the brother because he’s put in so much work to get back out on the floor.

However playboy, the reality here is that Father Time is undefeated! What kills me is that all of these Kobe fans out here are like the chick in the bad relationship where her man cheats and beats on her but she keeps saying that it’s my fault that he’s that way. At some point you gotta see it for what it is pimpin’! He’s not what he used to be!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! This dun is 35 years old! Now under normal circumstances in professional sports that’s old but in Kobe Bryant’s circumstance that’s decrepit. This cat has been in the league for 18 years! He started this journey at 17 playa! Think about it, that’s 82 games a year, plus the playoffs, Olympics, World Games etc.

Here’s my delusional Kobe fan goin’ off, “Man what are you talking about? Ole boy just put up 21 the other night? He’s still got it.” Dude, I didn’t say that the dun could no longer play basketball. I’m saying that he can’t do it every night! In order to play in this league you gotta be able to do it every night against cats that are 21 and 22 years old. The NBA is like the rap game bruh. It’s a young man’s game. The only old cat that can do it is Jay-Z because he’s speaking the universal language, HUSTLIN’! Not to mention the fact that he’s just smarter than the rest of these clowns out here. But most importantly, he doesn’t have to physically run up and down the floor with Kendrick Lamar. In sports it 90% physical and 10% lyrics!

At his age it’s gonna be one thing after another simply because he’s getting’ old. For you boyz that don’t understand what really happened with the knee let me break it down for you in layman’s terms or should I say, in everyday hood vernacular. Ole boy hyperextended (snapped back the wrong way) the knee in the same leg as the Achilles tear. The upper tibia or chin bone that sits below the knee was fractured as a result. So it wasn’t the knee that was broken it was the upper part of the chin bone that sits under the knee.

Why is that important? Because like the Dalai Lama said earlier bruh, everything is interdependent of each other. The human body is like the engine of a car. Everything is connected and interdependent of all parts. So if one thing goes wrong the other parts are ultimately affected too.

When ole boy tore the Achilles he favored it even during his rehab and his recent play so subconsciously he was putting more stress on the chin to compensate. When your body is older that joint starts to break down. How do I know so much about the body? I’ve got a Bachelor’s Degree in Sports Science and I’ve taken several levels of Anatomy and Physiology playboy. Don’t let the lingo fool you because I can get down with the best of ‘em.

Now these clowns at ESPN tried to pull a jack move on everybody watching Sports Center last night. They brought in an orthopedic surgeon to break down exactly what I just said. The expert went on to tell the millions of viewers watching the show that the two injuries were IN FACT RELATED. As soon as they came back from commercial break and ole boy was gone, these duns started telling us that the two injuries had nothing to do with one another. Now why waste the good doctor’s time and ours if you’re gonna just make something up to keep boyz from coming to the logical conclusion that this dun is about done?

That’s why, like I said a month ago in the Hot Joint entitled "The Brown Bag" that it made absolutely no sense at all to sign him to two additional years for another $48 million when you’re already paying him $30 million this year and he hadn’t even come back yet from the Achilles joint.

So know you’ve got $78 million tied into a boy that you can’t get out of the garage. All you can do is polish it up, sit in it, listen to the freakin’ radio and reminisce over him like Pete Rock & CL Smooth. I’m not hatin’ bruh, I’m just the only cat out here that’s gonna tell you the truth. These other boyz are too worried about making friends with the athletes instead of keepin’ it real. Well… I’ve got enough friends so Ima just do my freakin’ job whether you or duns like Kobe like it or not! Just stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
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The quote under the caption isn’t real but its REAL talk!