Here We Go (How boyz in San Antonio pulled the ultimate hustle on Miami & NBA fans)

"Can you believe this bruh?" You darn right I can!"

Uncle Leroy once said, “Keep ya eyes open and look for the hustle because it’s always out there young blood.” Imp the Dimp the Ladies Pimp gave it to like this, “If you never see the hustle you ain’t lookin’ for the hustle because the hustle is always movin’ and shakin’.” Then Fran Lebowitz, the famous author, came to the hood and shut the building down with, “Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step- it is an old business procedure.”

Well… the San Antonio Spurs had that old business procedure locked and loaded on Thursday night as they ran a hustle on the entire sports world and more specifically the Miami Heat as they beat the brakes off of them 110-95! These duns tried to tell boyz that the air conditionin' went out durin’ Game 1 of the NBA "freakin'" Finals.

Now you can run game on boyz that don’t know any better but I’m from the G and Hustlin’ 101 was taught in first grade playboy. Duns like Dolemite and freakin’ Goldie were my mentors bruh. The air conditionin’ didn’t go out in San Antonio pimpin' the air conditionin’ was turned off.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! The NBA Finals is one of the biggest sportin’ events in the United States bruh and those of you that don’t know, the NBA completely takes over an arena durin’ the playoffs. They’re in control of public relations, sound, security and yes the freakin’ air conditionin’! There is so much security in the joint that you can't fart without gettin' permission. Everything is checked and balanced so many times that the checks and balances are even checked and balanced. So don't tell me that the Freon ran out in the middle of Game 1!

Here’s my diehard Spurs fan screamin’ from the roof tops, “Jay you’re a hater! How could the Spurs or the NBA turn the air conditioning off because the Spurs had to play in the heat too? So what you’re sayin’ is ridiculous!” Is it playboy?

Sit down young fella and let me take you to school. Sure, the Spurs had to play in the heat but it’s a whole lot easier to play in the heat if you’ve been practicin’ in the heat all week. I’m just sayin’! Now this is completely my opinion based on my experience with hustlas. So don't try to sue me for givin' you my opinion.

When I was a senior in high school I belonged to the fastest backfield in the state. My high school, the “Velt” short for Roosevelt, went on to win 10 straight track and field state championships from 1981-1990. Pretty much everybody that ran track at the “Velt” played football. So the entire time I was in high school we won the state championship in track. I was one of the rare few that didn’t run track but the newspaper called our backfield the “Speed Merchants.”

Well playboy we showed up one Friday night to play some duns from Wirt High that didn’t have the speed that we had on a day where the sun shined all day and the fields were soaking wet. Why? Because we were known to run the football all night off of the corners because we were faster than everybody else. So these duns ran the sprinklers all freakin' day to slow us down. And yes, they played on the same field that we played on but they had already practiced on it all week. Guess who lost the game? The boyz that were stuck in the mud.

So don’t tell me that the freakin’ air conditionin’ went out at the MOST IMPORTANT series in the NBA. That’s like when boyz tried to tell us that the darn lights went out at the Super Bowl a couple of years ago when the Ravens were beatin’ the brakes off of the 49ers shortly after the half.

Remember when Jacoby Jones took that boy to the house on the openin’ kick off of the second half. All of sudden when the point spread got out of control at 28-6 the darn lights went out! And that’s the edited version bruh! By the time the lights came back on and the game was over the Ravens had still won the joint but the point spread was 3 like they had predicted that it would be. That’s called a hustle playboy.

So any fool that thinks that the fuse just blew out in San Antonio at the Finals is smokin’, injectin’, snortin’ and inhalin’ this mornin’! They sold a gang of beer and soda last night too and boyz got what they wanted outta Game 1.

If it wasn't a hustle then explain to me how in the world the duns from the funeral home from down the street were already in the joint passin' out old school fans! This dun pulls up in a hearse with 17,000 fans just cuz? Oh, it’s goin’ 7 playa!

Here’s my Spurs fan again, “Jay you just want to see the Heat win it again that’s all! You’re emotions are making things up.” Let me put it where the goats can get it for you pimpin’. I don’t have a dog in the fight. I just love sports and I don’t get paid any more or less if Miami or San Antonio wins. I’m gonna  write regardless. I just wanna see a great series without a boy tryin’ to hustle me.

Bruh, LeBron has a history of crampin' because that dun has cramped up in the last two Finals when the air conditionin' was on full blast! Why does he cramp more often than other players? It's because he only has five percent body fat! The more lean concentration of body mass a person has the more susceptible they are to crampin'.

So let's see what'll happen if we turn the freakin' air completely off? He'll sweat more, therefore he'll lose more sodium and increase the risk of what? Crampin'! How do I know this? Because I've got a freakin' Bachelor's Degree in Sports Science and I played with cats that had 3 or 4 percent body fat that would do the same thing.

How do bookies make money bruh? By doin' their research. By knowing things about the players, coaches, injuries etc. that the dun placing the bet doesn't know. That's why they keep winnin' all of the bread.

So at the 6:57 mark of the fourth quarter LeBron goes out with cramps and the Heat are up two. The Spurs go on a 31-9 run to close the joint out. What was the difference in the game? The dun that was crampin'!

For all of you cats that grew up in rural or suburban America there is an underworld that exists out here. You just don't see it because you haven't been trained to see it. For all of the suckas that go to Vegas two or three times a year that act like it doesn’t exist. That’s why they’re buildin’ new structures every time you leave. Why? Because you weren’t trained to see the hustle and you keep walkin’ right into it. It’s cool to go to Vegas just make sure that if you’re spendin’ bread that there is an exchange of merchandise. Don’t give these cats all of your paper and walk out of the joint with nothin’! That’s called gettin’ hustled.

When I walk on the strip at night in Vegas I can see the drug dealers, prostitutes, pimps and Johns because I’ve been trained to see them. Most folks never see them because they don’t know what to look for. When the air went out last night all of the real G’s out here said in unison, “Oh here we go bruh!” Now the NBA may not have rigged the joint but somebody with a 702 area code slipped Hector some paper to make sure that joint went down. It just didn't randomly fall apart playboy because Vegas ain't randomly makin' money. If you think I'm lyin' go ask Sam Rosthstein if his car blew up on its own.

Holla At Ya Boy!
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The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!
This joint is completely my opinion! I’ve got no proof that they ran a hustle on NBA fans.