"Eulogy of a Sore Loser"

"Here lies the body of a sore loser  and his BIG mouth!"

We're gathered here today to morn the loss of a sore loser. He was a good man that got too emotionally invested into his team. Whenever they won he would be way over the top in his celebrations and when they lost he would go into a deep depression. For years I tried to tell him to take his heart out it but he wouldn't listen.

Over the years he lost all of his friends because he talked too much trash to the point of nausea. Whenever his team played he thought that they were supposed to win the title. Even if they were suspect from jump. There was a time when his team had the best record in the league and he and all of his boyz were on a mission to let the world know just how good their team was.

We tried to warn him of the dangers of "Countin' Chickens" before the eggs hatched but he was far too gone at that point. When his team fell apart he came up missing and we all knew that it was the beginning of the end for this sore loser. He started calling off of work, missing appointments and avoiding the few friends that he had left. He wouldn't return phone calls from loved ones. It was bad bruh! We knew that he was in trouble when he started making excuses!

I tried to tell him that you can't treat people that way when his team was on top because you never know how these things will play out but as usual he wouldn't listen. We tried to explain to him that his MVP had been hurt for most of the season and not to expect for him to be able to carry them through the playoffs. When the reality of it all set in now all he's got is excuses. I even gave him the speech that all pledges get on the yard. "Excuses are the tools of the incompetent and those that use them are seldom good for anything else!" However, he was gone by that time like a fiend on the street bruh. Hooked on all of the hype and the best record in the league etc.

I visited him in the hospital when he was on life support when his team was down 3-1 and prayed for his recovery. The next day he and his team got better and closed the gap to 3-2 in the 1st round of the NBA Playoffs. Unfortunately, that wasn't enough. He was too weak to sustain any momentum because he and his boyz had already accepted defeat. So my prayers were in vain. This guy and his team had given up a long time ago. He just kept frontin' like he was all good and figured people would be excepting of his excuses but they weren't.

Nobody was going to let he or his boyz off the hook for nearly 6 months of extreme trash talk. When they smelled blood in the water everyone piled on and the sore loser and his team succumbed to their excuses last night on a lonely corner in Philly 79-78. His body was flown back to Chicago late last night and today we say good bye to he and all of his fellow trash talkers until next season. It was like Frank Lucas was selling "Blue Magic" around here now boyz are sitting on the front pew crying.

 I'm so glad that his mouth has been silenced at least for the time being. We all know that he'll rise from the dead in November but at least we all can enjoy the rest of the playoffs in peace. I guess it would be appropriate for us to rock that "Gone 'til November" by the Wyclef Jean as we exit this joint huh?

We aren't going to allow anyone to say any kind words about this brother because there isn't anything to say that is kind other than the fact that he's not talking a C-Note worth of trash today. Thank you for coming out and all of you undercover sore losers can drop your Bulls jerseys in the garbage as you exit and we won't hold it against you bruh! One last word before I let you all go, FISHING!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Follow me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport