Chitterlings

In layman's terms: "Now you know you sound like a fool right?"

Kenny Rogers said it best in The Gambler, “You gotta know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away, know when to run.” Big Momma was always honest when she said, “Boy sometimes you gotta know when to close yo mouth.” All of the real G’s just said it this way, “Hey bruh, you tryna do way too much pimpin’!”

All Manti Te’o had to do was chill at this point. He’d already done the Jeremy Schaap interview albeit it was a punk move to do it without cameras but at least he said his peace. The great thing about the 24 news cycle is that the joint never ends and all you have to do is be patient and somebody else will do something stupid to let you off of the hook!

Instead of boyz ridin’ Dwight Howard all week they’re back on Manti Te’o. He let his publicist/agent or whatever he/she is railroad him into doing the Katie Couric Show only to get slimed. This dun agreed to sit down on camera because they’re represented by the same person and now he’s added at least two more weeks to this foolishness that he calls a “Hoax.” Kati and the agent/publicist are the only ones that made out here. Manti is looking like an even bigger fool now!

Te’o shows up to the interview with tapes of his voice mails, doin’ way too much, to prove that he got duped! Now we find out that the woman on the other end of the phone that he talked to for hours on end was in fact Ronaiah Tuiasosopo, a dude! Let’s stop right there playa! Let’s pause like a comma and let’s dangle like a participle on that joint!

Now you want me to believe that you talked to a dude for more than 4 months from May to September making more than 1,000 calls that lasted more than 500 hours and this dun never coughed, belched or burst out laughing and never sounded like Lurch from the Adams Family?  In my Ochocinco voice, “CHILD PLEASE!”

Sounds like to me Te’o is trying way too hard to cover up the fact that he "may" be gay but the clown on the other end of the phone disguising his voice is for sure. Nobody hollers at someone every freaking night for hours on end acting like a woman just to pull a prank bruh. He was feelin' Manti. So the question is, “Was Manti Te’o feelin' HIM?” Now if he was that’s his business and he's gotta be who he’s gotta be and I know that folks will embrace him either way! Just don’t try to run game on boyz out here because he's making a complete fool of himself trying to prove otherwise.

As of this morning the New York Post is reporting that it was ole boy's female cousin that Te'o was talking to. If we lounge here a little longer it's gonna turn out to be Charlie "freaking" Brown on the other line bruh!

He can’t be that naïve and stupid so he’s got to be lying! That’s like telling me you didn’t cook chitterlings when I walk in the crib because I could smell them down the street. They smell horrible and they stink up the entire house for days bruh! No thanks!! Te’o is like the cat that grew up in the suburbs and was sheltered and is now an undercover agent working Vice in the hood. He’s trying his best to fit in but he just doesn’t know how and is sticking out like Keenen Ivory Wayans' toe in "I'm Gone Git You Sucka.". I completely understand why he won’t just come out and say it because he’ll be ostracized in an NFL locker room if he does.

Here’s the clown that’s always breathing over my shoulder trying to call me out, “Why can’t he be openly gay in an NFL locker room if that’s who he is?” He can be whoever and whatever he wants to be because God loves everybody playa. I’m cool with him being gay but I’m not the problem, the locker room is.

An NFL football locker room isn’t like the real world homeboy. See the real world is very diverse culturally, mentally and socially. The locker room is filled with all of the same type of people that are overly aggressive, testosterone driven and like minded. So therefore, you can’t just role up in the spot and announce that you’re gay and expect that boyz are gonna be OK with it. Is it right? Absolutely not! Is it the truth? Absolutely!

 Unfortunately, he doesn’t live in a world of what should be, he lives in a world of what is and that world is FOOTBALL. That game is comprised of the same personalities and is driven by one thing, testosterone and there’s nothing people can do about that unless they’re going to change the name of it and get different types of personalities to play it. Otherwise, coming out in that environment will be virtually impossible to do. On some real talk, that goes for the NBA and MLB too!

It’s not like going to work in the real world because there is so much diversity in thinking and there's always different levels of estrogen and testosterone floating around and most importantly folks don’t shower together on the job. I’m quite sure there are some duns in the league right now that are gay but they aren’t going to let anybody know it because it would have a profound effect on their careers. That’s why we have yet see an active player come out in the league. I feel bad for Te’o because he tried way too hard to cover up the chitterlings when all he had to do was eat, spray and keep it moving instead of lying about cookin' them joints in the first place.

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport

"In the Ride"

"Hey Manti, you ridin' today homie?"

Bo Bennett once said, “For every good reason there is to lie, there is a better reason to tell the truth.” Ben Franklin broke us off by saying, “Half truth is often a great lie.” Paulo Coelho shut the building down when he said this, “No one can lie, no one can hide anything, when he looks directly into someone’s eyes.”

Manti Te’o sat down with ESPN’s Jeremy Schaap on Friday night to tell his side of the story. However, this dun refused to do it on camera which further raises eyebrows because boyz can’t look into those eyes that my man Paulo just told us about. Ole boy is adamantly denying that he had ANYTHING to do with the hoax. That’s his story and he’s sticking with it.

Well let me break this joint down in my Big Momma, Madea, Memma, Nana, La abuela,  La Tina a lo’u (Samoan) voice or whatever genre you’re singing in bruh, “If you never met her baby, she ain’t yo girlfriend! So if you’re running around telling folks that she is, you lyin’! That’s lie #1!”

Look here homeboy, you’re talking to some real G’s out here! So let’s stop with the whole "I'm innocent role" and man up. Stop telling folks that you didn’t have anything to do with the hoax if you kept perpetuating a lie even after you knew what time it was. That’s lie #2.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! I don’t know how they get down in Hawaii but where I’m from, if you are with someone that commits a crime and you do nothing to stop it or to report it. Then you're just as guilty of the crime as the dun doing all of the work.

You’re like the cat that’s riding around with his homie’s smoking weed and drinking. Then all of a sudden unbeknownst to you they decide that they’re gonna rob banks all day. Now you didn’t get in the ride to rob banks you got in the joint to smoke and drink. So you decide that you’re not going to participate but you wanna ride anyway. For the next 3 months you ride with them and while they run in to pull robberies you sit in the car and smoke weed and drink! Because smoking and drinking is better to you while you’re riding. There's something about the vibrations of the vehicle that helps your buzz, right?

When they arrest these duns for robbing banks you’re going to jail too pimpin’! Just because you didn’t go in, put on a ski mask, pull a trigger or carry any bread out you were still involved. So therefore, you can’t show up to court and say you weren’t there because everybody saw you in the ride.

Every time Te'o did an interview and told boyz that his girl was the most amazing person he’d ever "met" he was in the ride. Every interview that he did post December 6th when he says he supposedly found out he was duped and kept the story going. He was in the ride. When he said in the Jeremy Schaap interview, “So I kind of tailored my stories to have people think that, yeah he met her before she passed away.” He was in the ride!

When he lied to his old man and told him that his girl flew to Hawaii in 2011 to see him and his dad in turn repeated the lie to reporters when asked about it and he never corrected it. He was in the ride! When the story was printed and constantly repeated that he met her at Stanford in 2009 after the ND/Stanford game and he never made it right! He was in the freaking ride homeboy drunk and as high as Snoop and Wiz Khalifa at a Cheech and Chong birthday party!!

So don’t tell all of these REAL cats out here that you had NOTHING to do with it because you’re disrespecting our intelligence. If Te'o can say that he had nothing to do with it and folks will believe it. Then let all of the homies out of jail doing 15-20 for just being in the ride too because they're just as innocent.

"That's my linebacker"

Also let me address the clowns that fell for the Oakey Doke that the Notre Dame AD, Jack Swarbrick, ran when he got on television crying and carry on. For all of you that believed that this cat was crying because one of the THOUSANDS of student athletes that have come through the doors of ND on his watch got played online. I’ve got some palm trees, home grown alligators and million dollar homes to sell you in the middle of the projects in Gary, In., playboy.

This cat was crying because he knows that he and ND covered this foolishness up for way too long and he's about to lose the best AD's job in America when it’s all said and done. Notre Dame knew way more about this foolishness than they're leading us to believe. But just like I told you when the Sandusky joint jumped off at Penn State that boyz in the athletic department knew what time it was and the shoes are gonna fall at Notre Dame too.

The Fightin' Irish got crazy attention this year not only because of the football team winning but because the Manti story was Hollywood and boyz ate it up. So why stop the foolishness if we can make money off of it in the process. Think about the amount of magazine covers this dun was on this year not because of what he did on the field but because of this story! The more publicity the school gets the more bread it generates. The more cats apply, the more popular the school gets, the more valuable it becomes to the BCS! Like I always say in my Huggy Low Down voice, “Waaait for it!” Because it's only gonna get worse before it gets better and stop me when I start lyin' playa!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport
This joint is completely my opinion!

Skunk

Huh????

The old timers would always say, “Sin will take you farther than you want to go, keep you longer than you want to stay and cost you more than you want to pay.” Lucillle Ball once said, “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”

Manti Te’o thought she said, “The secret to winning the Heisman is to live dangerously, eat everything and lie about having a dead girlfriend.” Y’all gone start listening me bruh! I told you back in November in the Hot Joint entitled "The Heisman Hustle" that boyz were trying to give Manti the Heisman off of the sympathy vote and he darn near won it too.

He got boyz for all of the other national awards because he scammed unsuspecting suckas in the media. The problem for them is that they can't go back and recoup their votes because you know they only voted for him because of his story! So he essentially robbed the joint with a butter knife.

Back in September it was reported that both his grandmother and his girlfriend died less than six hours apart and now we find out that his girl never even existed. This dun pulled a fast one on his teammates, the university and the clowns that voted for him and almost got away with it if it wasn’t for Deadspin smelling a skunk on the line and investigating. That's why I kept saying that he was a fraud because he was only getting press because he played through the deaths.

Now Te’o is doing what Big Momma calls layering. He’s telling more lies to cover up the first joint. Now this dun is saying that he was a victim of an online hoax and boyz are even believing that. Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! How can you be the victim and you made up the broad out of thin air?

According to the South Bend Tribune he says his dad says he met the chick in 2009 after the Stanford/Notre Dame game in Palo Alto. Now he’s saying that he met her online and never saw her. That it was only an online relationship.

Let’s stop right there pimpin’! Online relationships are for nerds and geeks that can’t pull. You are the MOST popular cat on campus and when you’re the freaking man, you don’t pull you choose! So tell that to some dun with an ear on his hip bruh! You knew the story was fishy when a boy tells you his girl dies and he doesn’t go to the funeral, doesn't have her obituary in his locker or better yet, he isn't rockin' the R.I.P. t-shirt on the yard like all of these young cats do now days! You know all of the brothers on the squad were waiting for him to pull that joint out and pour out some liquor for the homies that ain't here but he never did!

But what do I know, he’s Samoan maybe in his culture they don’t go to funerals and act a fool like black folks. Because if Leroy’s grandmother and girlfriend had died on the same day they would have had both caskets in full view and boyz would be anteing up to pay the funeral director his bread. It’s never going to be a question as to whether they died because Big Momma would have been trying to climb into the casket with grandma.

Y’all know how they have to tackle boyz and drag them away from the casket to even bury the joint. This goes on for at least 20 minutes because they have to keep stopping to pull duns off so they can cover it with dirt. So you don’t have to worry about a black kid running that scam cuz we ain’t missin’ no funerals playboy! Not with all of that foolishness!

Manti’s even got cats believing that he used to sit on the phone for 8 hours at a time as his girl slept while she was sick. I heard one report say that he would wake up in the morning and pick up the phone only to hear her breathing. Now unless she was a Pachyderm on a breathing treatment with the phone strapped to her mouth that ain’t happening. We all have fallen asleep on the phone as kids and by the time you wake up that joint is on the floor or somewhere deep in the bowels of the bed. So if he still heard her breathing she was a Tyrannosaurus Rex with asthma, acid reflux and smokers breath.

After all of this foolishness we find out that his boy, Ronaiah Tuiasosopo of the football famous Tuiasosopo's, was the clown behind his girl’s fake Twitter account. It's his boy because he hooked up with him when Notre Dame went to LA to play USC according to both of their Twitter accounts.

So now what bruh? I’m just waiting for the next lie and so on and so forth because he’s so deep in the hole now that he’s disoriented. The rule is, whenever you find yourself in a hole stop digging. This dun is so deep at this point he needs oxygen. His freaking lungs are about to explode from the pressure and he’s not smart enough to just come on up for air.

He’s the Joe on First 48 in the interrogation room with blood on his shoes, scratches on his face, the pistol and rope has his fingerprints, the victim’s cell phone and keys to the car are in his pockets and he’s still lying.

Not only did he get his butt handed to him in the national title game. He’s completely made a fool out of himself for trying to win the Heisman that he should never have even been in the running for in the first place with a lie. He and ole Lance Armstrong must have studied at the same academy for liars and cheaters with Bernie Madoff teaching in his underwear. Like I’ve been saying all year, he’s gonna be Brian Bozworth all over again, all hype and no substance! He’ll be in and out of the league faster than a robbery or a panty raid at the old folk's home on Saturdays because his draft status is falling like debris not because of this foolishness but because he wasn't as good as advertised bruh.

Please don't walk away from this joint confused! Manti Te'o and his boy ran a scam to win the Heisman on the sympathy vote but it didn't work. They ran up in the Downtown Athletic Club with a ski mask on and some firecrackers. They scared a few boyz but couldn't get away with it. Now jig is up and the skunk has been shot! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twtiter; @jaygravesreport
This joint is completely my opinion!

The Heisman Hustle

"I'm telling you right now bruh! On my momma, I'm not gettin' in the car with Manti Te'o!"

Either Ben Franklin grew up in the hood or the old playa’s from the vacant lot next to the liquor store did a lot of reading because they both used to say, “Believe none of what you hear and half of what your see.” Growing up in the hood has certain built in advantages. The most important of those is the instinct of being able to see a hustle coming a mile away.

The dull media is trying their best to rob Johnny Football of the Heisman and give it to Manti Te’o instead!  Sure, Te’o plays for the #1 team in the country and the most storied program of all-time. He’s the defensive leader and team captain but that’s about the size of it homeboy. Sure, he has a great inspirational story for us all because he’s played through the death of both his grandmother and girlfriend on the same day. For that, he should be commended. However, he shouldn’t win the Heisman because his grandma and girl died.

 Let's keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Cats from the hood have been playing through murders, drug addictions and imprisonments of family members for years and they haven't won any Heisman trophies because of it! So don't try to give Manti Te'o the joint because of family tragedy. Johnny Football is running circles around boyz and deserves to win it because he is the most OUTSTANDING player in the country!

First of all, in order to win the Heisman as a defensive player you’ve got to play more than one position bruh. The only cat to ever win it playing defense was Charles Woodson from Michigan and he did everything at the Big House but write the Michigan fight song. Not only did he have 120 tackles and 8 picks, he seemingly never left the field either. He had 28 yards passing, 193 yards rushing, 238 yards receiving, 301 yards in punt returns, 4 TD’s and he seemingly won the National Championship by himself! Clearly I'm being facetious but you get my point!

 Manti Te’o only plays linebacker and he’s not even close to being in the top 10 all-time in tackles in a single season. Lawrence Flugence from Texas Tech is #1 all-time in a single season in 2002 with 193. The cat that’s 10th all-time, Rodney Thomas from Clemson in 2002, had 167! Manti Te’o only has 103 and 7 picks! His numbers are worse this year than they were last year because he had 128 tackles then and most folks had never even heard of the guy. Not that he has to be in the top 10 in tackles to be considered but he only plays one position! So clearly he has to do more than be a middle of the road linebacker relative to great players to be in the discussion in the first place!

He coudn’t hold Dick Butkus(Illinois), Brian Bozworth(Oklahoma), Chris Spielman(Ohio State) or Mike Singletary’s(Baylor) helmets let alone the Heisman Trophy. Give him all the defensive national awards you want to but don't disrespect the Heisman by even talking about this cat. On some real talk, he's not even the best linebacker in the country! Ole boy from Ohio State, Ryan Shazier, is a far better player with only 5 fewer tackles. 

Johnny Football has better single season numbers than both Tim Tebow 4181 and Cam Newton 4327 when they won it. This dun has 4600 yards and 43 TD’s playing against better competition(LSU, Florida & Alabama)! Not to mention that he drilled then #1 Alabama at the crib. Nobody is even close to this kid and you can throw the media driven dumb argument that he’s a freshman out of the window. That’s the same excuse that robbed Adrian Peterson of the joint in 2004 when he rushed for 1925 yards.  

All I’m saying is, don’t try to manufacture another Heisman trophy winner at Notre Dame like they did in 1987 when boyz handed the joint over to Tim Brown on career achievement! Check this out bruh! He won the Heisman Trophy as a wide receiver with only 39 catches! C'mon homeboy! Everybody that was alive to see it knows that Don McPherson from Syracuse got robbed in a dark alley with a butter knife by some cat in a Notre Dame letterman jacket. Brown had an awesome career but in ’87 McPherson was clearly the most OUTSTANDING player in the country but the Notre Dame mystique pulled the votes Brown's way.

Although I sympathize with Te’o for the loss of his mom and girlfriend that doesn’t justify him winning the most coveted award in sports and the media ought to be ashamed of themselves for even pushing it. Unless ole boy is running and catching the rock, tackling everything moving, returning punts and kickoffs, dressing the freaking Leprechaun, putting the gold paint on the helmets, changing Touchdown Jesus' clothes at halftime and skateboarding on the Golden Dome he doesn't deserve to win the Heisman! Now you can stop me when I start lyin’ bruh!

Holla At Ya Boy!
Jay Graves
Get @ me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport