Crocodiles (Why these media type cats always fall for the Johnny Football Oaky Doke!)

"Y'all already know how it went down bruh!"

I stopped to get the whip washed down in the hood because that’s where you get the best hand washes ever. As I’m waitin’ for a boy to put the smell good in the ride these three cats start arguin’ about cat’s lyin’. Winston Churchill jumped out of the back seat and said, “A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has chance to get its pants on.” Vladimir Lenin stood up after shinnin’ my rims and said, “A lie told often enough becomes the truth.” Then Ben Franklin tossed me my keys and said, “Half a truth is often a great lie.”

Well playas…these dull media type cats have fallen for the oaky doke once again bruh. Some dun got beat down tryin’ to get at Johnny Football early Saturday mornin’ and these naïve cats out here are blamin’ the quarterback for the incident or for even bein’ out for the incident to even occur.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1^st! All you gotta do bruh is listen to the clown victim’s side of the story and it’ll tell you everything that you need to know about what happened. Like I keep tellin’ you boyz, “The Truth is in the Details!” This cat tells the police that he simply approached Johnny and said, “I’m the biggest Browns fan ever, I love you, I want to give you a hug.”

Stop right there bruh! I need everybody and their momma that believes that to stand on their head and spin around 100 times. If that dun did run up on a boy and say that, he should have gotten punched in the head. Because either he’s either crazy or on something else. And that somethin' else ain't always good playa.

He sounds like the dun that tells the principal that he didn’t hit the kid in the face in the cafeteria. The other kid ran into his first 10 times. Where's Cris Carter when you need him? C’mon man! Come up with something better than that. Ole boy just told half of the truth. He told the half that involved him gettin’ tapped up. You know he had to be on something crazy because he didn’t file charges. If a boy really assaulted you for no reason then he would have filed charges and been ready to sue. Stop it!

So you just walked up to a boy as a fan and got punched in the face for no reason? Tell that to Grandma Johnson that’s been blind and deaf for the past twenty years and she’ll even curse you out for that one.

Now these media type cats are caught up on the fact that ole boy was out at 2:36am. He’s freakin’ 21 years old and he was gettin’ on the elevator at the crib when the incident occurred. He says that he was comin’ from eatin’ dinner with his boy bruh. And please don’t give me the “He’s comin’ from dinner at 2:36am ?” Yes playboy! Stop actin’ like you’ve never been 21 before. You don’t leave home until midnight when you’re his age. C’mon bruh! Stop actin’ like you don’t know what time it is. I had plenty of boyz that played in the league and it was nothin’ for them to be out all night and show up to practice straight from the club. Stop actin brand new! You can't be that naive!

It would be different if he was out at the club beefin’ with some cat and got into a fight. He’s gettin’ on the elevator at the crib and some fool got to talkin’ crazy and got dealt with! End of discussion! Maybe it’s because I grew up with a bunch of hustlas and thieves that I can spot a hustle and a lie a mile away. See foolishness like this doesn’t get me bent out of shape. You don’t get punched for sayin’ hi to a boy. You get punched for talkin’ crazy tryin’ to get at a boy.

Sure, Johnny could go to eat earlier but who’s to say that at 12:36am a clown won’t come at him crazy? Now the fool that got, like we used to say back in the G, “his head pealt” will learn how to step to a boy the next time he sees him out.

To all of my brethren in the media, take a class on discernin’ foolishness and understandin’ how boyz in the street get down. Even though Johnny Football didn’t grow up in the hood he’s been around enough teammates from the hood that he’s now got hood tendencies of survival and for that he’s gets a ghetto pass.

Survival 101 says, “If a boy gets too close to you actin’ funny peal his head before he peals yours!” You can always say that you felt threatened!”

Nobody gets beat down for sayin’ that they’re a fan bruh! If you’re gonna be in the world of sports journalism you first need to understand the tendencies of the duns that you’re coverin’! It’s like Crocodile Dundee followin’ the crocs around and not understandin’ why they do what they do when they do it. Who would even listen to him if he didn’t understand the tendencies of the crocodile in and out of the water? Stop me when I start lyin’!

Holla At Ya Boy!
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The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!