Coaches have always been a special breed of human being. Primarily because they not only spend their lives teaching young people how to be better players, but how to be better people. Male coaches especially, have played the role of father to so many young men for decades whether a child has a father at home or not. When he stepped onto the field or court "Coach So and So" was in charge. These guys have turned boys into men over the years but that hasn't been done with a simple pep talk.
There is so much testosterone in a young man's locker room that many times it becomes a battle of wills. I've seen coaches of mine jump all over some players to get the best out of them. Many times it becomes physical and there is no way around it. You can't always talk a guy into giving his best. That's part of growing up and being a man. Now, by no means am I justifying a coach beating up a kid. However, we've got to be able to distinguish between what is coaching and what is abuse.
Just recently, the head basketball coach at tiny division II Holy Family Univiersity, John O'Connor, was suspended and has now resigned after he was accused of pushing, kicking and injuring sophomore Matt Kravchuk. The tape of the incident hit the Internet about five days ago and has created quite a stir. I see a very intense coach at a normal basketball practice. I don't see a guy trying to hurt or embarrass a kid. Law enforcement would have charged him if there were enough evidence to suggest that he did anything wrong.
Matt continued to practice for seven more days after the incident before going to police. That sounds like he's got something against his coach, not that the coach abused him in any way. If he felt like he was really abused he would've gone straight to the authorities right away.
If you think that Coach O'Connor's behavior was out of line then you shouldn't allow your son to play sports, especially football when he get's older. I've seen coaches do much worse to get the best out of some players. Teams don't win with guys like Matt Kravchuk playing a significant role. There is a reason why this 6' 5" kid is playing at lowly Holy Family. He doesn't have the heart to compete at a higher level. Kids that play at the Division 1 programs are accustomed to seeing coaches with fire that might curse, grab and throw etc.
Coach O'Connor was in his first year at Holy Family after being an assistant at Georgia Tech which is a Division 1 program. He was accustomed to coaching a different type of athlete that responds to his intensity. Kids playing at Holy Family aren't used to coaches being that aggressive so it was culture shock.
If you turn on your television there isn't a guy that's winning that hasn't been guilty of being too aggressive. I can also say that Matt won't ever play basketball again because nobody wants a guy that is that soft on their team. His own teammates wrote a letter to the university completely supporting Coach O'Connor. This kid was clearly not abused, he was being coached. Once again, if you think this is abuse, then pull your son off of whatever team he's on right now or don't let him play past the 8th grade. Because somebody is going to curse him out, grab him by the collar or kick him in the butt if he's not working hard. What's your opinion?
Jay Graves
jaygraves@thejaygravesreport.com
Follow me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport
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