"POWER MOVE!" But Nothing Gained

"Cougars dismiss player for having sex"

Brandon Davies was dismissed from BYU's basketball team after he admitted to having sexual relations with his girlfriend, the Salt Lake Tribune reported Wednesday. BYU's honor code forbids students from having premarital sex and instructs them to "live a chaste and virtuous life." That all sounds good but if they're going to dismiss this kid for that they may as well get rid of the entire team. You can't make me believe that he is the only player on campus having sex. As a matter of fact they need to close the school. It's a college campus for crying out loud.

BYU's honor code also requires students to be honest; abstain from alcoholic beverages, tobacco, tea, coffee and substance abuse; and attend church regularly.

I'm a Christian and I believe what the word of God says about not having premarital sex as well. However, I was once a young man and didn't understand the seriousness of following the word during that time in my life. We've got to understand that even though we want our kids to make good decisions, they don't always use wisdom, especially on a college campus.

 By the time boys get to middle school, girls make up probably 70%  of the reason why guys play sports. My mother told me years ago that women love men with money and power! I'll never forget that. It has nothing to do with whether or not a woman wants or needs your money. You're just more attractive if you've got it.

 When you are in school nobody has money so the most powerful guys on campus are the most popular guys. The most popular are always the athletes. Guys know that and that's why we played ball. Yeah, we wanted to prove that we were the best athletes to the fella's but that was secondary to getting the girls.

So it's delusional to believe that a guy playing at the division 1 college basketball level, on national television and ranked #3 in the country, with a girlfriend is not having sex. What they should be doing is coming along side of these kids and mentoring them about making good decisions and protecting themselves. My Pastor once said that his wife was constantly reading the bible to her teenage boys about not having sex until they got married. She would always show the kids what God had to say about them not having sex. He on the other hand said that he bought them condoms until they learned how to read.

We've got to be realistic with expectations for our children. Sure, we don't want them to have sex before they get married because of all of the potential problems associated with it. However, many of us made the same mistakes. Should a kid be kicked off of the team and possibly expelled from school for that? If so, what are we teaching them?

Raising kids is like playing the old school football game that would vibrate the little men down the field and the ball would always come up missing. We would have to use cotton as the ball. Remember how you would have to constantly pick the players up and point them in the right direction because they would veer off or hit the wall? We constantly have to pick our kids up and point them in the right direction because they WILL veer off.

I think it's a shame for a university of higher learning to dismiss a child for making a mistake. The word of God says, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."

Jay Graves
jaygraves@thejaygravesreport.com
Follow me on Twitter: @jaygravesreport
Information from ESPN.com senior writer Andy Katz and The Associated Press was used in this report.